


An Evergreen Carol

by LezG33k



Series: An Evergreen Carol [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-15 07:00:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7212553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LezG33k/pseuds/LezG33k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if another fairy tale was added to the mix of First Season: Once Upon a Time? And what if that fairy tale was A Christmas Carol. This is a SwanQueen take on the Dickens classic with Regina in the part of Ebenezer Scrooge and Emma taking on the role of the beloved Bob Cratchit. I hope you enjoy it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why Must We Celebrate This Fairy Tale?

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Hi All! I have no idea where this idea came from or why it simply persisted so much in getting out during a hot and miserable southern summer. But it did. And I have decided to go ahead with posting it. Obviously I own neither the rights to anything Once Upon a time nor anything related to Charles Dickens. I only wish. This is just for fun.
> 
> Also, there is some rough stuff ahead in the next chapter. I'm not going to give any specific trigger warnings because honestly I don't want to give away the plot. But, if you are sensitive to violence of any kind, you may not wish to read this piece.
> 
> That being said, I hope you enjoy it.

The sharp click and clack of heels on pavement rang out as a warning to anyone who might be nearby. Regina Mills, bundled up in the most stylish coat in Storybrooke, rushed down the street to try to seek temporary respite from the cold within Granny’s diner. The Mayor always walked in the middle of the street with square shoulders. She owned the town and those who did not move from her path were simply knocked out of it.

Like Mary Margaret.

She spent so much time walking, head down humbly, as if she were looking for an ant kingdom to possibly lord over since she’d lost her own. Regina nearly knocked her down on that particularly crisp and bitingly chilly morning. And, as always, it was the school teacher who apologized.

“Oh! Goodness, Regina, I’m sorry,” she stammered as the Mayor trudged on. “I didn’t mean to get your way.”

“You never do, do you, dear?” Regina fired back though she did not look. 

She was in a foul mood as it was because everyone was so damned cheery over some frivolous and ridiculous holiday that had nothing to do with what they were actually celebrating anyway. Christmas had been stolen from the Germanic ‘Yule’ which was essentially a bastardization of the pagan winter solstice celebration. None of them had anything to do with a baby in a manger that was likely to have been born in the summer if he was ever actually born at all. It was all so ridiculous to the former queen.

Why celebrate one fairy tale above all others?

She didn’t see anyone throwing parties for the day Aurora awakened from her eternal slumber. There were no ginger bread houses constructed as an homage to Hansel and Gretel’s defeat of the blind witch. And there certainly wasn’t an apple festival regaling the harrowing day she’d conquered Snow White for the briefest of moments. Why did everyone have to be so completely annoying and festive over the birth of a boy who later performed magic tricks and then became a zombie?

And why did they have to continue to incorporate that worthless tree into the mix?

Wrenching open the door to the diner, she entered, flipping her dark locks and ambling toward the counter. The lively chattering about Christmas Eve plans had died in the air as all eyes turned toward the obviously unamused Mayor. They all knew she didn’t enjoy the holiday for some strange reason and, though many had tried to get her in the spirit before, none had prevailed. Not even Henry. Try as they might, Regina Mills would never respond in kind to the bidding of a Merry Christmas.

“Coffee, black,” she barked at Ruby who answered with a nod and went to pour the hot beverage for her patron.

“Any big plans for Christmas Eve, Madam Mayor?” the waitress asked, placing the piping hot cup in front of Regina.

“Not that it’s any of your business but I plan on cooking lasagna for Henry and then going to bed early due to the fact that, in the morning, I’ll be awakened before the sun rises so that he can open his presents, turn on his Xbox and ignore me for the rest of the day,” she said, bringing the coffee to her lips.

“Yeah, but it’s all really fun and festive, isn’t it?” Ruby said, with an overwhelmingly toothy smile. “There a kind of magic to Christmas.”

“Magic does not exist,” Regina scowled and looked down into the dark liquid before murmuring softly. “At least not in this world.”

“Maybe not for some,” Ruby replied, her face falling a bit before she walked away. “Merry Christmas, Regina.”

The gorgeous brown orbs rolled hard at the parting words and the Mayor tried to simply inhale patience and exhale her frustrations. Frustrations that were only about to get worse. For, a few moments later who other than Emma Swan comes stumbling through the door with a Douglas fir tree as tall as she was.

“Hey Ruby!” the sheriff called a she approached the counter. “Merry Christmas Eve! Can I get a cocoa to go?”

Regina’s eyes and mouth went wide in surprise at the blonde’s idiocy and she stood to confront her.

“Ms. Swan, what on earth do you think you’re doing bringing foliage into a diner?” she asked, placing her hand on hips. “You must be in violation of at least ten health codes right now.”

Emma huffed out a chuckled and sighed as she moved the tree so she could see the woman admonishing her.

“Ease up, Regina. It’s freezing outside and I wanted a little something to warm me up but I didn’t want to leave the tree out there because the wind is crazy. It might have blown away,” she said as she left a few dollars on the counter for Ruby and smiled at the waitress before taking her cup. “Anyway, I’m glad I ran into you because my next stop was actually going to be your house. It’s for you!”

The sheriff smiled, hoping her act of kindness would help the soften the cold as ice woman before her but it certainly didn’t seem to have that effect if Regina’s disgusted features were any indicator.

“Sheriff, the annoyance you present to be has become both constant and ever excelling at topping itself,” she placed one of her hands on the counter and leaned into it. “What in the world would give you the idea that I want or need your help in this matter?”

Emma furrowed her brow in confusion and looked down as she started to speak. “Well, Henry said that you guys didn’t have one and he was telling me how much he likes the smell of them, and the way they just kind of light up a room when they're around, but that you always seem too busy to get one every year. So, I thought I’d get one for you that way you didn’t have to worry about it. I can set it up for you and everything if you’d like.”

“What?” Regina face puckered in confusion. “No, I would not like you to do that, in fact what I’d like for you to do is stay out of my life, and my son’s life, in every possible way. But you simply won’t accept that.”

Confusion soon turned to frustration as Emma once again raised her gaze to meet Regina’s. The entire diner was staring at them so she tried to keep her voice down.

“Regina, let me remind you that, on at least one occasion, if I’d stayed out of your life you would have died. Specifically of smoke inhalation in your own office building. I have tried time and time again to show you that I am not here to ruin your life. I’m trying to make it better so that we can get along for Henry’s sake and every time I do something nice you demean me. Why are you making this so difficult?”

Regina looked at the tree and allowed the sadness of memory to sweep over her only long enough to awaken the darkness within. It comforted and protected the forlorn longing, until it was put to rest, and took over completely. Her mind had been conditioned to behave this way long ago. To destroy everything in sight when wounded. Her dark eyes flashed back to the green ones before her.

“Because you simply don’t get it, dear,” her tone dipped an octave as she spoke and her lips did that incredibly sexy thing were they bared her teeth a bit more. Emma had noticed that several times. “You are unwanted. You have been unwanted a great many times in your life so I can see how that might be troubling and burdensome but I am not the family that left you behind in an orphanage to rot nor am I the quick romp in the back seat of your Volkswagen that impregnated you and left you to give birth to your child while incarcerated. Those people had the choice of getting you out of their lives. I obviously do not because you have forced your way into my life at every single turn. The only option I have is to try to destroy all hope that you have of being a part of our lives and I will destroy that hope if it is the last thing I do.”

She’d leaned in closer to Emma in deliverance of her last point. If they’d been any other pair in town, people would have thought they were about to kiss. Especially as Regina’s eyes made a momentary flicker down to the blonde’s thin lips right before she pulled back to leave. Nimble fingers reached into her purse for a few dollars to leave Ruby and her heels popped on the ceramic tiles as she tried to make her grand exit.

“No you won’t,” Emma said.

It made her stop in her tracks and wonder if the portal the blonde had fallen through deposited her head first into the world in which they now lived. Though Regina’s head turned her body remained still and faced the door as she listened.

“You haven’t done it yet and you certainly aren’t going to kill my hope on Christmas,” Emma took her stand with her head held high. “Christmas is a time of kindness, forgiveness and, above all things, hope. And I still have the hope of spending it with Henry around a Christmas tree.”

“Then you are going to be deeply disappointed, Sheriff,” she fired back. “Because Christmas is also a time of burglaries, drunken relatives throwing punches over politics and turkey exploding in deep fryers. We’ll need 24 hour service from the Sheriff’s Station and you are the only Sheriff in town. You can enjoy that squirrel’s nest there alone. Because my son is not spending the holiday alongside the jail cells.”

Emma swallowed the lump that had been gathering in her throat ever since Regina had pointed out how obviously unwanted she had been throughout her life. She knew better than to fight any harder about this. Things would only get worse and if that happened it would hurt Henry. And Emma would protect him from that at all cost.

“Merry Christmas, Madam Mayor,” she managed to rasp out the words as she watched Regina exited the diner and felt Ruby place a hand over her own to try to comfort the poor, unwanted orphan.

Once the door had closed, and her nostrils took in a deep lungful of the freezing air, Regina adjusted her scarf and straightened her stance before speaking the most appropriate words for the moment.

“Bah humbug.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

The Mayor had nearly finished working for the day when a knock at the door roused her from her paperwork and put a smile on her face. Henry’s Christmas party for the volunteers at the hospital must have finished and he’d come to walk home with her.

“Come in!” she called as she stood and started to gather her things.

The boy entered with a somber expression on his face. It did not match the rage that was burning in his tiny body after hearing through the gossip mill that Regina had been so cruel earlier that day to Emma but he had hoped that it would guilt her into giving him what he wanted for Christmas.

“Hello dear,” mocha hues took in the distraught expression and worry took over Regina immediately. “What’s wrong? Did something happen at the hospital?”

“Yeah,” he craned his neck to look up at her. “I heard what happened in the diner today. You told Emma I couldn’t see her on Christmas. Did you really mean it?”

White hot rage enveloped the Mayor as, once again, she was put at odds with her son once again due to the meddlesome blonde.

“Yes, I most certainly did,” she said without tempering her delivery. “Ms. Swan chose to serve this town in full as Sheriff the moment she put on that badge. That includes working on holidays. Therefore she’ll be spending hers at the station, and it’s no place for you to be on Christmas.”

“But…”

“No ‘buts’, Henry,” Regina cut him off, her tone holding the weight of finality as she gathered up her things and put on her coat. “Now, let’s go. I need to make the lasagna and then I’ll let you open up one of your presents like we always do.”

“You can make the lasagna for yourself and keep the present,” he argued, angry and saddened by her unwillingness to show even a modicum of respite in her war against Emma, even on Christmas. “I’m obviously not getting what I want for Christmas this year.”

His words were harsh but no more than any of his other tantrums over the blond. Regina was honestly getting used to it by now. They still stung but they were also becoming monotonous in their frequency.

She followed him out and walked just a few paces behind him as they made their way home. Any time she tried to speed up so did he. He obviously didn’t want to be anywhere near her at the moment. Then, true to his word, he went straight upstairs and slammed the door to his room. She knew good and well that he wouldn’t be coming out tonight and there was no point in preparing a feast of carbs and fat just so she could eat alone. Instead, after divesting herself of her coat and scarf, she walked into her study and poured a tumbler of cider.

The sweet liquid burned down her throat and chest; it was like a warm hug but she didn’t have to put up with a personality attached to it. She also took the time to light a fire in the fireplace. It had been a long day and the comfort of the flames reminded her of how it used to be back in the Enchanted Forest where fireplaces were a necessity not a luxury. Taking another sip, she stood there gazing into the flames and allowed her mind to drift back to the past only for a moment. They didn’t have Christmas in her world but they did celebrate the trees. It was called the Evergreen Festival. People would gather together with their loved ones around evergreen trees to celebrate endurance even in winter. When all of the other trees had lost their leaves due to the cold, evergreen trees stood tall and proud with life ever present running through them. 

Sitting in her chair, Regina continued to watch the flames and sip the cider until her body fully relaxed into the chair and she’d nearly fallen asleep. The sound of the final crackles and pops of the dying fire jolted her from the small respite and she nearly spilled what little cider was left in her glass. Finishing it off and moving to put out the flames with the poker, she let out a yawn and decided it was definitely time for bed.

“Long day, your majesty?”

The sultry voice startled her from her task and forced her to turn and hold out the fire poker in self defense. The dark end, forever stained from the char produced by burnt wood, pointed directly at a face she’d thought she’d never see again: Maleficent.

“I’m sorry, dear,” the woman remarked softly with a smile. “Did I frighten you?”

Regina could only stare on, mouth agape in utter astonishment. This simply wasn’t possible.

“Well, this is certainly new,” the blonde stated with a chuckle as she circled Regina. “I remember your tongue being quite active back in the Enchanted Forest. Where has it run off to now?”

“You’re not real,” the Mayor finally spoke up. “I’m either still asleep or I shouldn’t have had that drink on an empty stomach but there is no way you are in this room right now.”

“I’m afraid you’re wrong once again, old friend,” the reply came from behind the brunette and soon she felt hot breath on her neck that moved up to her ear as the dragon continued to speak. “I’m very much here right now. And, though you may not believe it at first, I’m here to help you.”

A shiver of both fear and reminiscent arousal ran down Regina’s spine before she replied.

“And why would you do that after all that’s happened between us?”

“You said it yourself a very long time ago,” came the reply. “I’m your only friend.”

Regina took in a deep breath and then moved away, keeping the poker in a tight grasp as she faced her ‘old friend’.

“Let’s pretend for a moment that I’m crazy enough to simply go with this ridiculous scenario,” she said as she looked into the familiar blue eyes. “What have you come to help me with?”

Maleficent allowed a pregnant pause to hang in the air so that Regina might feel the importance of the matter. Once she was ready, she spoke plainly and diligently.

“Your happy ending.”

An arrogant chuckle rumbled deep within Regina’s chest.

“You’re too late for that one, Maleficent. I already have my happy ending. I’m living it right now.”

“Really?” the blond head quirked to the side in disbelief. “Then why do you seem so angry and miserable all the time?”

“There’s been a hiccup,” Regina clenched her jaw as she defended her position. “And once I get rid of that hiccup all will be as it should be.”

“Emma Swan is no hiccup, Regina,” Maleficent warned sternly. “That woman plays a key role in your happiness whether you’d like her to or not right now. You have visited hardship and pain on that girl that you don’t even know about and it has to stop. With her, with Snow, with everyone. You reap what you sow, dear. And you have been incredibly unkind toward your fellow man. If you do not right these wrongs, you’ll be doomed to solitude and pain. Just like me.”

“Just like you?” Regina shook her head. “Before you went all soft over a unicorn you were one of the most powerful sorcerers in all the land.”

“And now I’m a monster who lives alone beneath the streets,” Maleficent corrected. “Look, I don't expect you to believe me right now. That’s why I’ve employed a great deal of help from a few familiar faces. They will guide you through a series of events that will, hopefully, change your mind about the way you live your life.”

“And just who might these faces belong to?” Regina asked, crossing her arms.

“All in good time, dear. All in good time,” she studied the woman before her and truly hoped that at least one of the familiar faces sent would be able to get through to her. “Tonight you will be visited by three spirits not of this world. They will defy time, space and even death to guide you on your journey so you might want to listen to what they have to say. You should expect the first ghost when the clock tower strikes one.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Regina stated angrily as she dropped her arms and moved into the blonde’s space. “Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one? This is not a Dickens novel, Maleficent, this is my life.”

“And it will only continue to be a life of anger and loss if you do not take this night seriously,” Maleficent warned before reaching out to cup Regina’s cheek, sending yet another shiver down her spine. She pulled away to move toward the smoldering embers and reached her hand toward them to create a fireball. “I wish you luck, old friend. I do truly hope you get your happy ending. And remember, expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one.”

With that, she lifted the fireball into the air and then sent it slamming down onto the floor in front of her, causing a blaze that took her from the room without a trace. Regina immediately ran to the spot where she’d been to examine it for any proof that she’d been there but there was none. And, once again, she was alone in her study.

“It was the cider,” she reasoned with herself. “There was something wrong with the cider. I’ll pour it out in the morning.”

Placing the poker back on the rack and walking up the stairs, Regina settled into her room with a startled but weary mind. She took off her clothes and jewelry, washed the makeup from her face and donned a pair dark grey silk pajamas. A delighted moan escaped her lips as she settled into the comfort of satin sheets on a pillow top mattress. The cider had ensured sleep would come easy, but it made no promises that it would last. For when the clock tower stroked one a chill crept into the air, rousing her from her slumber.

Her eyes scanned the room, illuminated only by moonlight, and settled upon yet another sight she was sure she’d never again lay eyes upon.

“Hello, Regina,” Daniel said with a soft smile as he looked down upon the woman who once held his heart. “It would appear that I’m the ghost of Christmas past. And I have many things to show you.”


	2. Part Two: Evergreen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past. Will a look back soften her heart to the events of the present or will it only serve to break it further?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hi all. This is the chapter I had mentioned that would need a pretty serious trigger warning. There's violence that lies ahead and it covers some pretty rough stuff but I didn't want to spoil because the nature of it is important to the plot. So, if you're sensitive to that you may wish to skip this one. Thank you!

How was this possible?

There he was, standing right in front of her.

His soft features and kind eyes had her own in a gridlocked gaze that even an earthquake couldn't shake. She was afraid to move; afraid to breath. As if the smallest exhale from her lungs might shatter his image into a million pieces that floated away into the night. Though she could hold her breath, she couldn't control her tears. They gathered around her eyes like sea water flooding a ship after hitting a rock bank. And, as her tears fell, she thought perhaps some movement on her part might not spirit away the vision before her.

"Daniel?" she rasped once more as she slowly moved to stand.

"I was last I checked," he joked humbly, trying to ease the fear in her eyes.

She slowly moved closer and reached out to touch his shoulders, surprised when her fingers didn't go through them like they should have for the ghost that he was. Then, after a gentle squeeze to confirm his corporal status further, she slammed her body into his and enveloped him in a desperate hug.

"Oh my god, it really is you," she breathed him in at the neck and smiled through her tears. "You even smell like the stable."

"How else could you be sure," he chuckled and held her in his arms, happy to give her the comfort she needed so much.

"You're really here and you're not a ghost," she said, as much to herself as to him. "Maybe this was a part of the curse. Maybe I really am going to get my happy ending."

At this he swallowed and his face fell. After one more moment of allowing Regina the happiness he'd always wanted to give her, he pulled away so that he might destroy it. Taking her hands in his own, he looked at her with a sadness that came very much from the grave.

"I really am here, Regina," the stable boy confirmed before swallowing thickly to prepare his tongue for the truth. "But I am not here for long. Only until the Clock Tower strikes two. At that point I go back to where I came. Where we all come from and where we all go. I haven't been sent to give you your happy ending. I've been sent to give you your chance at it."

"What?" She shook her head in confusion and her happy features turned somber.

"Regina, I am the Ghost of Christmas Past," he explained. "And we have precious little time before I must leave."

Regina shook her head and her dark locks swung with the motion.

"Daniel, no. We can figure this out. We can look in my vault. I might have something there. Or we can go to Gold. He must have squirreled away some kind of magic," she took another step closer. "We can fix this. I can bring you back for good."

"No, Regina," he shook his head. "I'm the one with the magic this time. And all I need right now is for you to put your faith in me. You can still have a happy ending but not if you don't take the first steps of that journey."

He then turned to toward the window and raised his hand, causing it to whip open into the cold night. Ever the gentlemen, he then pulled away and grabbed a long robe and slippers before helping Regina into them. Her face was still filled with confusion as she watched him step out of the window and float. She nearly screamed as she took the step but instead she looked on in wonder. He really was telling the truth.

"All you have to do is take my hand," he instructed while offering said appendage.

She didn't want this. She didn't want to go on some stupid journey through the past with sad memories and lessons to learn. She wanted him. She wanted his kindness, his goodness and his arms wrapped around her telling her that he loved her and forgave her for everything she'd done at the rage from losing him. In those few precious moments since she'd seen him she'd been Regina and not the Evil Queen. All she wanted to do was pull him back in, choose love and end her tyranny over the small town. She wanted a life and a family and happiness again… But that wasn't to be.

"And what if I don't?" she asked, her voice turning an octave lower as the Evil Queen settled back in, ever her ardent protector against the pain that love inflicts.

"Then I'll come in there and drag you out," he said, brow furrowed and voice stern. "Though I'd rather maintain my chivalry in your memory I have no problem decidedly destroying it to make you see reason. Please don't force me down that path."

He kept his hand extended and his eyes cold. And then she, taking a deep breath and rolling her eyes, stepped onto the ledge and took his grip.

"Let's get this over with" she conceited with a scowl.

"Good god, you've started sounding like your mother," he mumbled dejectedly as he turned to set them on their journey.

"What?" she barked angrily, then gasped as she felt them take flight at a rapid pace. "Oh my god! Where are we going?"

"Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning," he laughed at his own joked and then looked back to find she wasn't amused. "Just a little Ghost of Christmas Present humor. You'll get it in about an hour."

She remained silent and angry but held on tight as they moved into a cloud bank. Her eyes saw nothing but white until finally the bright yellow of a winter morning started to knife through the haze and blanket the earth below. They were starting to descend… and she knew just where they were descending unwelcome sight of her childhood home came into view and, as they touched down, Regina was already filled with protest.

"I truly hope you don't expect me to step foot in there," she growled. "You of all people should be well aware of how many horrible memories I have of this place."

"And you of all people should listen when I say that the only way you will break its hold over you is by facing it and finding a new way to live," he warned as he noted she'd caught sight of her mother in a nearby window. "If you want to be free from her you have to fight. Here and now."

"Ugh," she scoffed and waved her hand. "No, apparently what I have to do is play your game so you stop with the epic speeches."

He smirked and took her hand once more, leading her through the door, quite literally.

"Woah! Was that really necessary?" She asked, wiping at her clothes as if they were dirty.

"You're unable to alter anything on your journeys," he explained. "You're only to observe. No one around you will be able to see or hear you. And, should you try to touch anything, your hand will go right through it… Unless you're not supposed to bear witness."

"Right," she sighed and crossed her arms. "I saw the movie… with muppets."

They made their way to the living area where there stood a beautifully decorated evergreen tree. It was tall and shimmering but there were only a few presents beneath it; none of them bearing Regina's name.

"Regina what did you do?" Cora raised her voice as she grabbed the arm of a small girl that favored the woman who would become queen.

"Nothing bad, mother, I promise!" she cried at the pain of Cora's grip.

"Then where have all of your presents gone? Did you open them already?" her mother growled through gritted teeth.

"No, no, I swear," she tried to explain. "Papa said that The Evergreen Festival is a time of giving and kindness toward all men. Even the poorest of the poor. So, while you were away, I heard a knock at the door. It was the carolers. They were singing songs for coins for the poor but I didn't have any, so I gave them my presents. I promise I didn't touch any of yours."

Cora, enraged, threw her daughter to the ground and then balled her fists in utter bewilderment at her child's stupidity.

"Regina those were special dresses," she explained. "Wonderful, beautiful dresses for parties and balls so that I might take my idiot daughter out into society and try to make her look presentable to the nobles. They were charmed with precious ingredients I no longer have and now I'm going to have to slave over finding another set all because your father is such an spineless sympathetic that he has ruined your mind as well."

Grasping a handful of Regina's hair she yanked the girl to her feet and dragged her to the bedroom before slamming the door; leaving an adult Regina and Daniel standing alone in her wake.

"Shall we push forward?" she asked, not looking at him, with absolute malice lacing her tone. "I mean why stop here?"

She trudged forth but he gently took her arm in his hand, halting her.

"Because we have more to see."

The sound of belt popping on skin preceded a scream and a flinch from the older Regina.

"And you already know what happens next," he explained, sadness etched on his face. "Come now, the next one is less painful, I promise."

He held out his arm and she walked toward it, her eyes and ears on the door where she knew her former self was receiving the beating of a lifetime. But soon the sounds and sites morphed into a flutter of snowy white. They were in the forest, looking on at a slightly younger Regina who smiled at as she gazed upon fir tree.

"Don't you have one already?"

The Ghost and the Mayor both looked watched their former selves as a young Daniel approached a young Regina with a smirk and an extra coat. He'd seen her riding out with only a riding jacket and knew full well she'd be freezing if she stayed like that for long.

He was referring to the tree. The Mills family had quite the nice evergreen decorating their living room window; shining for all the world to see. Cora made sure every year that theirs was the grandest in the village. She spared no expense.

"Mine is dead," young Regina deadpanned and took the extra layer with a smile. "These are alive. Unadorned. Beautiful just the way they are. They survive every element and thrive."

"That's what the Evergreen Festival is about, isn't it?" Young Daniel asked and then answered himself. "Survival. We celebrate the enduring spirit of life. The ability to conquer the most extreme environments."

"True," the young girl answered. "Mother thinks that the spirit of the evergreen is power. She thinks it knows secrets other trees don't. That it survives by conquering the forest and pushing out the weaker trees."

Young Daniel looked on and nodded, "That's certainly an interesting theory. Too bad she's wrong."

His words were so quick, so confident that she was taken aback. How did he know for sure the secrets of mere foliage.

"And what do you think their secret is, stable boy?" She asked. "Hay? Oats? A good brushing down?"

He looked to her and offered an omnipotent grin before answering.

"Love."

"Love?" she huffed out the word in a laugh, her breath hanging in the air like a small cloud. "You're as simple as mother says you are."

"And yet I'm the one come to bring you an extra coat so you don't freeze looking at a bunch of trees," he countered.

Her chin dipped as she took in his words. She was bested in the comment and she was curious as to why he possibly thought these trees thrived on love rather than power.

"Evergreen's aren't used for much, you know," she mentioned. "They smell good, yes, and they look nice when we dress them up but past their persistence in living in horrible circumstances, there's not much function for them to boast."

The statement was about so much more than the trees. There was a reason Regina felt such a connection toward the evergreens. And she was reminded of that every winter.

"You're short sighted," the older Regina whispered before the younger Daniel did. She remembered his words well.

"You're short sighted," the stable boy indeed said. "Oaks are powerful trees to be sure. But they cannot bloom year round. They wither and stagnate during the winter months because they haven't learned to love the cold and snow as much as they do the rain and heat. Oaks love what makes them powerful but they aren't living their lives as beautifully and loudly as the evergreens. Your mother can think what she wants but the wonder of these trees is not found in their power. It's found in their ability to love even the bitter cold. To love animals so much they give shelter to them even when the world is so frozen it seems it would stop turning. Evergreens are made of love, and while that makes them strong, it doesn't make them the most powerful trees in the woods. For love is the the greatest magic of all."

"She wants to like you," Older Regina whispered to the ghost beside her.

"She already does," the ghost whispered back.

"You're a fool, stable boy," the young girl said, full of herself and jutting her chin.

"Perhaps, M'lady," the young stable boy answered. "But I can take the cold. And I'll make sure you get home safely in it."

There was a hesitance in her breath as she realized he was trying to show that he cared… far beyond that of a stable boy and the girl of the house.

"Why?" she asked.

He quirked his mouth to the side and looked down before returning her gaze and answering.

"Because I like the evergreens this way too. Natural and unadorned," he said it with a hesitant step forward, hoping she understood the subtext and trying to let her know that he liked her just as she was now. No fancy dress, no frills. "And I'm glad they persevere."

That last part was said for her too. He wanted her to know that the bruises didn't go unnoticed. That the dried tears on her face were not forgotten. That he looked upon her just like she did the evergreens.

Regina noticed too. Swallowing thickly and blushing, she fiddled with her gloves.

"Mother says love is weakness," she allowed herself to fall into the fantasy just a bit. Just because he was sweet. Just because there was something that hung in the air that she never wanted to stop breathing.

"Tell that to them" he answered easily, nodding toward the forest.

She looked up at the beautiful array of huge, strong, vibrantly green trees and smiled in spite of herself. She was only taken out of the moment when she felt a warm hand stroking her cheek.

The ghost and the mayor looked on as first love bloomed deep in the cold, snowy depths of winter. They watched their sweetest memory together blossom before them and a smile crossed both of their faces before the storm started to blow in, just like it had that night. Though, this time, the snow became blinding and the older Regina held strong to Daniel's ghost to keep her bearings.

"What's going on?" she yelled, shielding her face.

"We're moving on," he answered, shielding his own and guiding them to a different kind of light.

The street lamp glowed a nicotine stained yellow near a crummy apartment building. None of it was familiar to the mayor and, as they walked closer, she couldn't help feel a sense of dread.

"This place isn't a part of my past," she noted. "Why have you brought me here?"

"Because this past is tied to your future," he stated, sadly as they pressed on into the building and within a dirty and desolate two bedroom that smelled of booze and cigarettes. "Do you have any idea where we might be?"

She looked around. It definitely wasn't Storybrooke. Even her hometown homeless lived in conditions better than these. Roaches climbed the walls and beer bottles littered the floor. A sad, un-decorated, artificial christmas tree sat in the corner with lights blinking on the bottom half.

"Hell?" she replied. "Have we stepped into some long forgotten hell?"

"Where are you, you little brat?" a haggard, slurring and masculine male voice called out from a separate room.

"It's certainly hell for one of its inhabitants," Daniel confirmed, his eyes were dead and cold as anger filled his body. For he knew what was about to unfold.

"You hear me, girl?"

An overweight, balding man with a vodka bottle in his hand came stomping through the living room and into the kitchen.

"What are ya, deaf?" he asked.

Regina took a few steps closer to see a terrified blonde girl, she couldn't have been more than 12 or 13. Her green eyes already misted over with tears as if she knew there would be a great deal of pain in her future.

"I'm sorry, Tom," she explained. "I was just getting a glass of water. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Yeah, well ya did," he ambled closer, taking the bottle to his lips in a deep pull. "And now I can't go back to sleep."

Horror started to fill Regina's body. She knew the look in that man's eyes. She'd seen it before in her own life.

"What the hell is this?" she asked Daniel. "Why are you making me watch this. I'm not responsible for every drunken, abusive monster that walks this earth. I should not have to watch this."

"No," he agreed with a nod. "No, you shouldn't. Because men should never visit such terror upon the innocent. You shouldn't have to watch this because it should never happen… But it does. It does every day. And the reason you have been brought here to watch this particular case is because of who that girl is."

"What are you talking about?" she asked with a growl.

He pressed his hand to her back and made her take a good look at the poor girl being stalked by the large, drunk man.

"Does she not remind you of anyone, Regina?" he asked as the blonde took a chance and slipped past her pursuer, trying to make it to her bedroom quick enough to lock the door. "Does she not have the bravery, tenacity and self preservation of someone you know quite well these days?"

Regina's heart felt like a vice grip had been placed upon it when the very idea of the girl's identity entered her mind.

"No," she said the word in a shuddered whisper as she watched the man tumbled past her and toward the door that the blond had sought refuge behind. He pushed past it easily then slammed it closed. All that was left was the muffled sounds of screams filtering through. "No, I…"

He placed a hand on her shoulder; his knowledge of her heart made him understand that, as evil as she was, she never meant for this to happen to anyone, not even her worst enemy.

"You also shouldn't have to watch this because that girl shouldn't be here," he explained softly, not accusing.. "She shouldn't be here because she was never supposed to be a part of this world."

"No!" she cried out, pushing his hand off of her shoulder and turning, her eyes wet with tears. "No, this is not real. That is not Emma Swan!"

"But it is, Regina," he confirmed solemnly while Emma's cries rang out through the air. "You may never have meant to condemn her to this but your intentions lost their control as soon as she was sent to this world to protect her from your wrath."

Regina put her hands over her ears as if that would keep her safe from the sounds, the smells, the feel of the damp carpet beneath her slippers.

"Stop this! Stop it!" she screamed at Daniel. "Why would you bring me here if we couldn't do anything to save her from this torment?"

"Because you can save her from future torments," he insisted. "Emma Swan is not your enemy, Regina. She is the same girl in there fighting off her demon. The same as you have fought your own. You have more in common than you'll ever know and you need to accept that. This Emma cannot be spared her pain but the one in your life can!"

"No! The one in my life is trying to take away my son," she stepped further away and pointed toward the room where Emma still cried out. "This one is innocent. She doesn't deserve what's happening to her."

The pajama clad mayor moved quickly to the door, trying to step through but it was no use. She tried the handle but it wouldn't budge. She slammed her shoulder into it but the barrier would not move.

"Why can't I get in there? Why can't I stop him?" she asked.

"Because this happened well over ten years ago, Regina," Daniel explained, taking heavy steps forward toward her. "You can no more save Emma than you can save me. You simply must accept that her life has been visited with hardship far beyond your control. And you must carry that with you along with your own pain. Hopefully, amongst all the destruction, you two might find some comfort. But not tonight. Come, my time grows short."

He held out his hand but she wouldn't leave.

"No!" she continued slamming the side of her body into the door as if it might give way. "I don't accept that."

A very sad but small smile appeared on his lips as he watched her start to beat the door with her fists.

"There's the girl I loved," he noted softly as the world became engulfed in the mist of the present. "Goodbye, Regina. May the spirits guide you to your happy ending."

She didn't notice the mist. She simply kept beating on the door. Though it did not move she couldn't just stand back and do nothing. She had to fight… Like Emma was fighting. Her fists slammed against the door so hard that soon it felt soft.

Like a pillow.

Like one of the satin covered pillows sprawled across her own bed.

That's because it was. Regina was back in her bedroom and not a cry or whimper was to be heard.

"Oh, thank god!" she said aloud. "It was a dream. Just a horrible, retched dream."

Taking in a deep lungful of air she clutched her pillow tightly to her chest and thanked whatever god there might be that none of that was real.

"How perfect that our first meeting in this world should mimic our first meeting in the last," a spritely, feminine voice called from the window.

The dark head turned quickly so that Regina might see who caused the most recent disturbance of her night. As her brown eyes surveyed the tiny frame covered by a green dress, she knew immediately who the voice belonged to.

"Tinkerbell?" Regina asked, sitting up in her bed with yet another bewildered expression on her face.

"That's right, Regina," the fair confirmed. "I do so love popping in on you in your bed chambers. Behold your Ghost of Christmas Present."

The devilish smirk that grew on the blonde's face left no room for contemplating that this would be an easy hour in the mayor's life. Tinkerbell had come to play.


	3. Part 3: A Shot in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tinkerbell shows tries to show Regina that her hate fueled actions have caused much more harm that she might have thought. Will this set the former queen straight?

Well, this certainly wasn’t good. The last time Regina had seen Tinkerbell she’d pretty much ruined her life, hopes and dreams. And, though the fairy didn’t seem ruined now, there was a definitive edge to her gaze that the former queen did not overlook. Tinkerbell was pissed, and rightfully so, therefore the Mayor would have to proceed with caution.

“Well, whoever’s put together this magical night certainly has a sense of humor,” the brunette remarked as she arose from her bed once more, crossing her arms. “How’ve you been, Tinkerbell?”

With a flick of her wrist the blonde sent Regina flying back into the bed before she climbed atop her; wand at Regina’s throat and murder in the fairy’s eyes.

“Don’t you dare make jokes about my state of being you evil, insidious snake,” the blonde warned, clearly not holding anything back tonight. “You are a pathetic, helpless human now and I have all the power over you for the next hour of your life. If you wish to survive it, I would be very, very careful how you address me. Have I made myself clear?”

Swallowing thickly and looking down at the wand, Regina raised her hands to her head in submission. She couldn’t defeat Tinkerbell, should the fairy decide to go rogue and change the ending of this ridiculous Christmas Carol, and she certainly didn’t plan on dying at her hands. Therefore, she would have to comply.

“Quite clear, dear,” she acknowledged. “You have all the power. Now, may I ask that you please keep your voice down so you do not wake my son. You may hate me but he hasn’t done anything to you and, honestly, I have no idea how I would possibly explain this to him.”

Dark eyes flickered down and Regina noted that she meant their position. With a smirk, the blonde removed herself from the Mayor’s warm body and placed her wand within her belt.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Regina,” she quipped. “You’re not my type. And don’t worry about Henry, he’s not here anyway. I could shout to the rooftops and sing hallelujah; the boy still wouldn’t hear me.”

“What do you mean?” the Mayor asked, standing and adjusting the tie on her robe. “Of course he would hear you, his room is just across the hall.”

“Yes, I’m well aware of your floor plan,” Tink stated with an eye roll. “But Henry isn’t in his room right now.”

Narrowing her brow into an intense glare, Regina walked past the fairy and out the door. Purposeful steps took her directly to Henry’s room where she opened his door and approached the bed only to find a pillow shoved beneath the covers in the place where her son should have been. She turned in a fit of rage toward the blonde, the vein in her forehead protruding even more as her anger grew.

“Where is he?” Regina asked, holding out the pillow in a death grip. “If you’ve so much as harmed a hair on his head I’ll…”

“You’ll what?” Tink interrupted her with the question. “Challenge me to a pillow fight while I wave my wand and choke you to death? You’ve no cards to play here, Regina. Plus, I’ve done nothing to the boy. It’s you who has forced him out of his bed tonight. You who won’t let him see the woman who brought him into this world when she only wishes to get to know him a little better. The unbelievable truth of the matter here is that I have come to help you, not to harm you and especially not to hurt your son.”

Regina studied the woman before her. Tinkerbell seemed to be telling the truth. If she wanted to hurt her she would have done so by now. And, no matter how dark the fairy might have become after losing her wings, she would never hurt a child. Not even one that meant everything to Regina. 

Tink wasn’t like that. 

Regina was. 

And she knew it.

The thought of how her actions had impacted Emma’s life came rushing back to her in a wave of horror and pain. It caused her expression to humble as her hands fell to her sides. But she couldn’t think about that now. She would have to deal with it later. Right now she needed to know that Henry was alright.

“Will you take me to him,” she asked softly, placing the pillow back on the bed.

“Lucky for you, I have to take you to him,” Tink confirmed with a nod of her head. “But not right away. Right now you are going to take a walk with me around the town. You’re going to see what your curse has truly done to people who never once caused you harm. You’re going to witness the devastation of your wrath, Regina. And by all that is good and evil, it better change you or I will find a way to punch a hole in my world to come back and finish you in yours.”

“Fine,” Regina once again put her hands up in acceptance of Tinkerbell’s ownership of the next hour. “Fine. Let’s go. You lead and I’ll follow.”

Inhaling deeply through her nose, the fairy turned on her heels and guided them down the stairs toward the door. It occurred to Regina that they were in the present and that, if she were to step outside, she could be seen by anyone who might be awake.

“Wait, I can’t just walk out of the house in my robe and my pajamas,” she noted.

“Oh, right, the cloaking spell,” the blonde head shook as Tink replied and turned to wave her wand over them both. “You’ll have to forgive me, I haven’t used magic in a very long time. I fear I’m a bit rusty because an evil, cowardly bitch screwed up my entire life.”

Looking down and smiling in defeat at the jab, Regina nodded as she followed the fairy out.

“Right, how could I possibly forget,” she replied as they took their steps together. Then, something occurred to her. “Why are you helping me, Tinkerbell? It’s obvious that you hate me. Why on earth would you come all the way here to do something for my well being?”

The blonde allowed a pregnant pause to hang in the air as she thought about her answer. Finally after several long seconds she answered.

“Because I am miserable,” she explained. “I live alone in Neverland. I have no friends, no magic and absolutely no reason to keep on going if those are to be my circumstances for the rest of my life. And you’re the most powerful person I know. If there’s anyone in this world or the next that can possibly save me it’s you. But you’re not going to do anything to help me if you continue on the path you’ve been headed down these last few years. So, when given the opportunity to help you find your happy ending in exchange for the mere chance you might help me with mine, I took it.”

Regina did feel a small prick of pain at the thought of Tinkerbell living such a sad and lonely existence. That would be her fate too if she lost Henry. She couldn’t imagine not loving anything or anyone. Not receiving love in return. As angry as her son had been the last few weeks, she did truly believe that he still loved her. Hell, even Emma Swan was trying to be kind to her with that stupid tree she’d purchased the day before. Tinkerbell had no one. And that was very much Regina’s fault.

“Tinkerbell, I know that this probably won’t mean much to you at all but I am sorry for causing you so much pain,” she said, solemnly. “I don’t regret much about my past. I’ve walked the way of darkness for a long time now and it’s suited me. But, I did sometimes think about you and how you were simply trying to help me. I wish it hadn’t led to the situation in which you now find yourself.”

“Ah, really? You wish that?” Tink guffawed with insincerity. “Well, that fixes everything now, doesn’t it? Oh, wait, no it doesn’t. Because I’m not a real fairy right now. I’m just a stupid spirit here to, once more, try to guide you on your way to happiness. God, your importance in this whole story makes me sick!”

The word ‘story’ triggered something in Regina. She thought about that book Mary Margaret gave to Henry and how it told so much about everyone’s past in the Enchanted Forest. Was someone orchestrating all of this? And, if so, did Tinkerbell know who they might be?

“Tinkerbell, who sent you to do this?” Regina asked. “Was it the author of the book that Henry reads? The one that tells all of our stories?”

Hazel eyes quickly darted to the side as Tink chuckled at the thought.

“Um no,” she answered. “The author would have you with some monkey faced, forrest smelling thief who cheats on a popsicle while screwing you in your in your family crypt. I must have been drunk to have thought that pixie dust was right about that stupid tattoo. No, my strings here are being pulled by what we’ll call a ‘Ghost Writer’.”

She chuckled at her own joke but noticed Regina didn’t share in her mirth.

“Get it?” the blonde asked. “Because I’m the Ghost of Christmas present?”

“Ah,” the Mayor nodded and smirked. “Very clever.”

“Anyway, that doesn’t matter, what matters is…” She trailed off and looked around for the building she was to take them to first. “That, there. That’s the first stop on our stroll tonight.”

The interruption scuttled away any further thought of the Ghost Writer and, instead, Regina focused on the task at hand. The house was obviously supposed to be abandoned. She wondered what poor soul lived there and how specifically she’d screwed up their life. Just like before, they walked through the walls of the structure and soon found a room littered with candles and two children huddled together next to the fireplace. A small tree decorated with silver candy wrappers sat in the corner with not a present in sight. As dark eyes scanned their faces, Regina knew well who she’d been brought to see.

“Hansel and Gretel,” the names left her lips in a humble whisper.

Ever since she’d felt the joys of motherhood through loving Henry, she’d started to grow a soft spot for children. She hadn’t thought about this specific pair since she’d been so cruel to them in the Enchanted Forest. Now looking at them, so cold and obviously not taken care of, she wondered how she’d ever been so evil as to send them into the witches den. And they weren’t even the first. So many before them had failed and… It was too much to think about all at once. She had been so blinded by her hatred of Snow that she hadn’t given them a second thought until that very moment. And now it was all washing over her in a massive wave of guilt and pain.

“Nicholas and Ava now,” Tinkerbell corrected as she too looked on at the children in sadness. “They’re still separated from their father, they have no mother, and they exist by their wits. No one looks after them. No one cares about them. And this is how they spend Christmas; huddled up next to the fire so that they don’t freeze to death. Tell me, Regina, are you quite satisfied with your happy ending? Or is there possibly a single untainted part of your heart that might take pity on these poor children? Because if you don’t feel the need to fix this then there isn’t much point to us going any further on our journey together.”

Before Regina could answer, the small, timid voice of Nicholas pierced the somber silence.

“I tried to steal some potato chips from the pharmacy yesterday but Mr. Clarke was watching pretty close,” he explained. “I think he’s started to catch on to the fact that we’ve been stealing from him. And I have no idea what we’re going to eat tomorrow. I’m sorry, Ava.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” she wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “Granny normally has a pretty big Christmas dinner for some of her and Ruby’s friends. Maybe they’ll throw out some leftovers. If we wait near the trash bin we should be able to grab some food before it mixes with everything else.”

“Dear god,” Regina whispered sadly as she wrapped her arms around herself.

“The nuns normally have a meal for the homeless too,” Nicholas interjected. “We could go there that way we don’t have to pick through garbage.”

“No,” Ava shook her head. “You know we can’t do that. If people start to pay attention they’ll put us in an orphanage. If we go to the orphanage we could be separated. We have to stick together and be smart about things. Otherwise we won’t have any family left at all.”

The boy sighed but nodded. His breath hung in the air even with the fire going.

“I know,” he said. “It was just a nice thought.”

“It was,” Ava agreed as they both continued to look into the fire; too tired to say anything more but too worried about their lives to fall asleep.

“I’ll make sure they’re fed and warm tomorrow,” Regina assured Tink as tears glazed over her dark eyes. “I’ll pay for room and board at Granny’s with meals until I can fix this mess and get them back to their father. I won’t let this go on another night. You have my word on that.”

“Sadly, your word means nothing to me,” Tink spat back as she tried to rip her gaze from the sight of the cold and starving children. “This is all just a shot in the dark. I won’t believe you’ve changed until I’ve seen it. Now, come on. There’s more damage in your wake.”

The blonde turned swiftly and walked out of the house, leaving Regina to linger for a few seconds more as she felt the weight of her deeds press heavy as a boulder upon her soul.

“I’ll fix this,” she whispered the promise that the children could not hear. “I promise you I’ll fix this. I’m so sorry, Hansel and Gretel.”

And, with that, she turned once more to follow the fairy who hated her.

Tink’s feet stomped down the street as Regina said nothing. What could she say? They’d both witnessed the sad consequences of her actions and wishing that they could change them right now would do no good. Regina would need to wait until her trials were over.

The streets were starting to look familiar now and soon they came upon a house that Regina knew very well. It belonged to Kathryn and David Nolan and it seemed as though at least one of them was awake. A warm light glowed onto the yard from behind the curtain of the living room.

“Wait, why have you brought me here?” Regina asked, halting the fairy. “Kathryn got what she wanted out of this world. She has her happy ending here and if you think I give even half of a damn about the desires of Snow’s absent minded former Prince you are sorely mistaken.”

“Oh my god, you are absolutely impossible,” hazel eyes rolled as Tink tried to accept that Regina was and always would be the most difficult person she’d ever come into contact with. “After everything you’ve seen tonight you still doubt I can surprise you with something that will tug at your heartstrings.”

Regina huffed and let her go. Tinkerbell was right, of course, but the former queen truly did have reservations about the idea of wasting precious time. She’d already seen things that had changed her. Things that made her feel like she did back when she was young and innocent. Her heart was growing more compassionate toward her fellow man. She didn’t want to risk tainting that with anything that had to do with possibly ending the misery of Snow White.

“I simply don’t want to waste time when I have no idea if my son is safe or not,” she explained. “And, trust me, There’s nothing I would change about this particular situation.”

“Then it should be a quick stop, shouldn’t it?” Tink noted before walking through the door. Not bothering to wait to see if Regina would follow.

With a deep sigh of discontent, Regina too forged on and entered the home. A quick look to the left showed that it was David who was awake at the late hour. Both fairy and former queen walked inside the living room where he sat holding a blue bird he’d carved from wood himself. It was painted perfectly and a small string was tied to one of it’s feet. On the string was a piece of paper that heralded the name of the woman he was truly in love with: Mary Margaret.

“Oh god,” Regina lamented with a roll of her eyes. “I’m going to throw up if you subject me further to this man’s pining over that dumbo-eared school teacher. This is exactly what I didn’t want to see.”

“And it’s not what I’ve come to show you,” Tinkerbell barked back. “We’re here to see Kathryn, not David. Now, let’s go.”

She grabbed Regina by her robe and dragged her up the steps to the Nolan’s bedroom where Katherine sat at the window and wrote in her journal by the light of the moon. Tears fell from her eyes at different intervals as she alternated between scribbling down her thoughts and looking out into the night. 

“I don’t understand,” Regina said, shaking her head. “Why is she so sad. She has everything she ever wanted.”

“No, Regina,” Tink corrected. “She has everything you thought she ever wanted. Kathryn is stuck in a marriage that doesn’t feel real with a husband who pines for another woman. How could she possibly be happy living like that?” 

“I just thought…” Regina answered as she watched her only friend in this world rise from the window and enter the bathroom to wash her face. She left the journal open on bureau and the Mayor stepped forward to read.

Journal,

It’s past two in the morning on Christmas Day. I should be sleeping contentedly next to my husband but he isn’t in the room. He went downstairs a while ago. Probably to think about her. He does that a lot at night. I can tell. David is on and attentive for most of the day but any time I’ve caught him going downstairs for a glass of water, or moving to the window to look out at the street, he’s miles away. 1.2 miles away to be exact. Because his thoughts are with Mary Margaret and that’s how far away her apartment is from our home.

He’s still in love with her. I know that he tries to push those thoughts out of his mind but they won’t go away. He’s a good and decent man to try to stay and make it work with me but, as the days go by, I can’t help feeling worse and worse about myself. The fact that he tries so hard instills a feeling of dread and insecurity inside me that’s starting to eat away at my soul.

Every day I fear it will be the day that he leaves me.

And every day, when I realize he’s staying, I feel the weight of his sacrifice.

That loving me and being near me is a sacrifice.

That’s no way to live. Not for either of us. Don’t we both deserve more? I keep telling myself that the answer is ‘yes’ but every day my mouth stays closed and my feet stay firmly planted in the ground of this life.

Meanwhile, sometimes at night, I dream about a blonde haired man with green eyes. One who is certainly not David. One who loves me because he can’t possibly not love me. It’s the greatest feeling I’ve ever experienced and it’s all just a dream. And, when I wake up, I’m in a nightmare sham of a marriage that is destroying my dignity.

Why can’t we both just let go of each other?

Maybe I’ll stop by and talk to Regina about it next week. She’s always been so good to me. So kind. And maybe there’s something I can do to help her as well. She seems a little down these days.

Merry Christmas. I guess.

-Kathryn

“She’s miserable and still she thinks about how she might help me,” Regina said aloud as she looked to Kathryn who was now walking back over to the journal to stow it away under her side of the bed. “I didn’t know that she cared that much.”

“She shouldn’t,” Tinkerbell amended. “And she certainly wouldn’t if she knew it was you causing her all of this pain. You can’t take someone who already has a true love and place them with someone else. It ruins both of their lives.”

Dark eyes looked on as the woman slipped into bed and closed her eyes. Hopefully to dream about her actual true love.

“His name here is Jim,” Regina told Tink. “They would never have any reason to see each other, he’s a gym teacher and Kathryn has no children. Perhaps I could I ask her to pick Henry up from school one day. Specifically when he has gym class. I can figure out another way to keep David away from Mary Margaret.”

Tink huffed out a laugh and shook her head.

“You’ve had nearly an entire night of the answer to your problems thrown in your face and you still don’t get it, do you?” she asked. “The pain you cause echoes far beyond those you choose to inflict it upon. If I don’t end up getting through to you, I hope to hell the next spirit does.”

She left the room and started walking down the stairs. Regina walked over to the side of the bed where Kathryn slept and tried to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. But her fingers went right through the other woman’s body.

“I’ll figure out a way to get you back to him,” she promised. “Even if it complicates things for me. I owe you that much.”

Pulling away she too went down the stairs and past the living room, muttering a soft ‘idiot’ when she passed the still pining David. As her body passed through the door she held up her wrist to look at her watch. It was twenty to three. They didn’t have much time left.

“Don’t worry, we’re going to see Henry right now,” the fairy said before Regina even had the chance to ask.

Luckily their destination wasn’t far away and Regina had already guessed that they’d be walking to the Sheriff’s station. The building lights were on and as they walked inside the sounds of Christmas music and laughter permeated the air along with the smell of hot chocolate… And, of course, cinnamon. There in the station stood her son, her enemy and the tree that Emma had tried to give to her the day before. Henry was helping her string popcorn to decorate it but mostly they were throwing the food at each other.

Regina had never had a moment like that with him. Possibly because they’d never had a tree and also because everything about the scene before her was outside of her nature. Love, guidance and discipline she could give him but she would never be able to give him goofy, ridiculous fun.

“They sure do look happy, don’t they?” Tinkerbell asked with a grin that showed she was very pleased with herself for forcing Regina to watch this. “Too bad they have to do this at such an ungodly hour near jail cells just because someone is so incredibly selfish and full of hate that she would deny her own child the joy on his face right now.”

“Enough, Tinkerbell,” Regina scolded the fairy softly as she stepped closer to listen to their conversation.

As Emma lounged back in the chair and popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth, Henry worked on stringing more pieces together. Most people might have thought this the perfect moment to take a picture and share it with their friends. She envied it.

“We’re going to have to get you home soon, kid,” Emma said. “Your mom will have me tarred and feathered in the center of town if she finds out you came here this late.”

“I know,” he nodded his head solemnly. “Sorry, Emma, I know that this kind of stuff is dangerous for you. I just wanted… you know. To decorate a real Christmas tree.”

This wasn’t about the tree and Regina knew that. Henry had never pressed her for a tree. He’d mentioned it once or twice but it didn’t become one of those things he fixated on. He wanted to be with Emma. Just like he did every damn day since the blonde’s skinny jean clad ass had walked into town. He was using the tree as an excuse because he was as afraid of her rejection as he was eager for her love.

“Well, why don’t you go put the last of the Orville Redenbacher on there and then I’ll walk you home,” Emma instructed.

She waited until his back was turned to pull a medium sized, wrapped rectangular present out of one of her drawers. She then watched with a soft smile on her face as he jumped to try to get the popcorn towards the top of the tree. He was worming his way more and more into her heart by the day and she knew it. And, it was in moments like these that she didn’t care about the repercussions of him finding a place within it.

“That’s love in her eyes in case you were wondering,” Tink pointed out. “She does love him, Regina. And he loves her too. After all she’s been through, don’t you think she deserves to feel that kind of love? You know now what that girl had to survive to get to where she is. Is it so wrong for her to have these moments with him?”

“It’s not that it’s wrong, it’s dangerous!” Regina swiftly turned her head and yelled at her guide. “If Emma Swan decides she really does want Henry then what is to stop her from taking him from me?”

The blonde had no time to answer because Henry’s voice broke up the conversation.

“What’s this?” he asked when he saw the present.

“It’s just a little something I picked up for you,” Emma answered. “Probably nowhere near as cool as the presents your mom got you but I wanted to do something nice.”

He stared on at her for a moment and his eyes projected a feeling Regina didn’t get to feel very often. It was the warmth of surprise when someone unexpectedly does something to show they care more than you thought they did. Henry looked starved for that and it broke the Mayor’s heart. He finally fixed his gaze back to the present and started tearing it open. It was a stack of comic books. Emma had paid attention to the fact that he liked them and the pure excitement that beamed off of his face from knowing that seemed to light up the entire room.

 

“I love them,” he said with a nod before stepping closer. “I’m going to hug you now but don’t freak out and use it as an excuse to push me away. It’s Christmas. I should get at least one.”

Emma huffed out a laugh at his ridiculous power of perception and stood before holding out her arms.

“Come here, kid,” she ordered playfully.

As Regina looked on at the embrace she thought she would feel blind hatred and jealousy at yet one more thing Emma Swan planned to take from her. But she didn’t. In that moment she wasn’t looking at the Savior anymore. She was looking at the face of the woman who used to be the girl that Regina had cast into a life of hardship. When she saw the love reflected on Emma’s face, it reminded her the way she too felt about Henry.

“What are you going to do for Christmas dinner?” Henry asked as he pulled away and put on his coat.

“Ruby invited me to have dinner at Granny’s with the whole family-challenged crew,” she explained. “Mary Margaret said she goes every year and it’s pretty good. I’ll still be on duty but at least I’ll get to eat.”

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to go to that but mom never wants to,” he explained. “She said that we eat enough of Granny’s food during the week, we should have something more healthy on Christmas. It drives me crazy.”

“She does that because she loves you, kid,” Emma mentioned. “Cut her a little slack for wanting you to live longer, ok?”

The fact that Emma Swan had just defended her to Henry made Regina’s brow raise. She simply couldn’t believe that, after all she’d put her through, the Sheriff might still defend her actions.

“If she really loved me she’d want me to be happy and she’d stop trying to keep me away from you,” he argued grabbing his comics as they started out the door.

“She thinks I’m going to hurt you,” Emma countered as she locked the door behind them. “And she really thinks I’m going to hurt her by trying to take you away from her. I wish there was something I could do to show her that I don’t want to do either.”

Regina and Tink followed along and the Mayor listened with rapt attention, unsure of whether or not she truly believed the Sheriff.

“I don’t know why she thinks that,” he asserted softly with a hint of sadness. “I know that you don’t want to take me away.”

She nearly let the words die on the air right then and there; afraid to have a conversation around the idea of the two of them having a future together as mother and son. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t allow Henry to go to sleep on Christmas thinking, as she had every night of her life, that his mother didn’t want him.

“Hey, hold on a second,” she said, touching his shoulder and forcing him to stop and look at her. “I would never take you away from her, not because I don’t want you, but because you don’t truly want to be away from her. I can see in your eyes sometimes when you two are together and she’s not busting my chops. When she shows you her love, she’s not lying, Henry. And when you show it back it’s not a lie either. I don’t want to take that away from you or her. I just want to be able to be a part of your life too.”

Henry felt as if his heart were growing like the Grinch’s always did at the end of the movie. And Regina felt her own melt a bit at the words before breathing a sigh of relief.

“Can I have one more hug?” he asked.

“Just because it’s Christmas,” Emma joked, knowing she was lying through her teeth as she took the boy into her arms once more. They held tight for a few more seconds before pulling away. “Now come on, let’s go. How’d you get out of the house anyway?”

“The same way kids have been escaping their parents for centuries,” he answered. “Through the conveniently placed, easy to climb tree right outside my window.”

“Right,” she nodded and pat him on the back. “I should have guessed.”

“You should be feeling very stupid right about now,” Tink said as she looked over to her side at Regina who continued to watch the pair walk down the street.

“She could be lying,” Regina argued half heartedly, not believing her own words.

“She could be but she’s not,” the blonde assured her. “Would it really be so terribly bad to simply allow her to be a part of his life instead of forcing them to jump through hoops and find a way past your tyranny anyway?”

“She’s the savior,” the former queen’s low tones gave the answer. “Her reason for existing is to destroy me.”

“Her reason for existing is not only multi-faceted, it’s also up to her. We are not bound to destiny, Regina, we’re bound to each other. To people. To the ones we love. Emma loves Henry. And, if you gave her the chance, she might even start learning to love you as well.”

“Wait, have you been snorting that pixie dust you’re so fond of?” Regina’s eyes narrowed and her lip curled in utter disbelief. “Emma Swan is never going to love me nor do I want her to.”

Both heads shook, for different reasons, as they looked back at the disappearing birth mother and son in silence. It was Regina who finally broke it.

“Though, maybe I have gone a bit overboard with my clearly failing efforts to keep Henry away from her,” she said, causing Tinkerbell’s heart to skip a beat. 

“In case you haven’t figured it out by now, that’s the exact path that you’re supposed to be going down after this night ends,” Tink noted as they too started their walk back. 

It didn’t take long for them to reach the Mayoral Manor and, as soon as Regina was sure that Henry was safely up the tree and in his room, she too walked inside and retired to her own bedroom. Tink followed suit as well, her face had fallen immensely as she accepted the fact that in just a few moments she would be back in the solitude of her own prison. Regina noticed this as she looked on at the fairy and she knew that she had another path to walk as well.

“Tinkerbell,” she allowed the name to drift softly from her lips and waited for the blonde to look up.

“Yes?” Tink responded, locking eyes with Regina.

“I am truly sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you,” Regina admitted as she took a step forward. “Though I know you hate me, and have every right to, I do want to try to make this better. I’ll start working tomorrow on finding something in my books. Something that might show me a way to get you out of Neverland. I won’t just forget about you and leave you there to die.”

Hazel eyes prickled with tears as the fairy contemplated that Regina might actually be telling the truth. She certainly had no reason to lie about it now, the clock was starting to strike the hour. Tink’s work here was done. Maybe Regina Mills truly could change. She certainly hoped she could.

“Like I said before,” the fairy started, breathing in deeply feeling the magic start to whisk her away. “This was always a shot in the dark. I’ll know it’s worked if you really do find your way to Neverland. Goodbye Regina.”

“Goodbye, Tinkerbell,” Regina returned sadly as she watched the woman disappeared before her very eyes.

As despair and guilt settled deep within her bones, Regina lowered herself to sit on the bed. She had so much work to do. So much pain to make up for.

“What a sad sight indeed,” the most chilling and terrifying voice of Regina’s past spoke from the corner behind her. “A house with no tree during the Evergreen Festival.”

The mayor didn’t need to turn around to identify the woman who now occupied the room with her. The last spirit in Ebenezer Scrooge’s journey was always the scariest, therefore the casting of this one for her was apt.

“Mother,” Regina breathed out the word before standing to see Cora in all of her traumatizing glory.

“That’s right dear,” the mother answered with a chilling grin. “The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.”


	4. Part 4: Let it Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cora shows Regina a future that looks very different than she ever thought it would. But Regina can only reach it if she survives an hour with her mother.

“I suppose this is the part where you show me something tragic happening to Henry followed by a reprehensible funeral scene that all culminates in me begging for mercy over my own grave?” Regina asked, standing tall and placing her hands on her hips. She wanted no part of Cora’s presence. “If so, we can skip it because I’ve already seen the error of my ways on several counts. I wouldn’t want to waste your time.”

The deep chuckle that emanated from the older woman’s throat sent a chill down her own daughter’s spine.

“No, my dear girl,” she corrected with a shake of her head. “No I’ve decided, much to the chagrin of the Ghost Writer, to go off script here and show you what will happen if you do change your ways. You see, this peace loving, generous future that all of your previous haunts have been striving for is a bunch of hogwash. You were destined for power. You were destined to rule with an iron fist, not a delicate hand. And I worked far too hard to see you squander all of the sacrifices that I made.”

“You mean that I made,” Regina corrected her, her dark eyes flickered with ferocity.

It only took a matter of seconds for Cora to reach out her hand and use her magic to grip at her daughter’s throat, raising her high in the air. Regina clutch at her neck, trying to break free but she knew it was no use. It never had been.

“Now, now, Regina. You wouldn't want to wake Henry, would you?” she asked as squeezed just a little tighter. “Do you think you can behave?”

Even the thought of Henry being anywhere near Cora terrified Regina to the core. She’d do anything to keep him safe from her brutality including obeying her for the next hour. Her son would not suffer under her mother’s reign like she had. So, being unable to speak, she nodded as best she could and was returned to the floor. Her hands clutched at her throat as she coughed and sputtered, trying to get more air in her lungs.

“There, that’s better,” Cora noted her approval as she clasped her hands together. “Now, as much as I hate to rush our time together, we are on a fairly tight schedule and I need to make sure I get my point across to you. Otherwise, well, let’s just say that our scene might very well end with a grave.”

Five minutes. Their reunion had barely lasted five minutes and already Cora had assaulted her, demeaned her and threatened her life. It was honestly a wonder that Regina hadn’t been more evil than she’d already shown possible.

“We certainly wouldn’t want that,” the mayor noted. She was also eager to start their journey simply because it would put distance between her mother and her son. “Let’s take our leave, shall we?”

“Certainly,” Cora agreed and took Regina’s hand in her own before turning to the bedroom door and waving her hand.

The doorway turned into a dark and twisted portal that heralded danger and horror ahead. Still, Regina walked through with her chin up and head held high. She was already holding the hand of the thing that scared her most. There was nothing around the corner that could further frighten her.

Or so she thought.

“Mom! Come on, hurry up, Rudolph is starting!”

Henry’s voice rang out from inside a quaint cabin in the woods; sounding a little older than last she’d heard it. The warmth from the glow of the window was comforting in contrast to the dark night and the falling snow. Regina wondered why she and Henry had chosen this place to spend, what must have been, Christmas Eve but perhaps she would find out once they’d entered the building. Taking a step through with Cora, the two Mills women both turned up their noses at the meager site before them.

“Perhaps I decided to renovate over Christmas,” Regina noted, somewhat embarrassed at the accommodations her future self was able to provide.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” a voice that was most certainly not Regina’s rang out and it was accompanied by its owner who soon entered the living room holding two cups of cocoa sprinkled with cinnamon. “Jeez kid, it’s not like we both don’t know every word by heart.”

Emma Swan took a seat on the couch right next to Henry and Regina could feel her blood start to boil.

“What the hell is this?” she asked Cora.

“It’s your future, Regina,” Cora answered, quite happy with her daughter’s reaction. “And you ain’t seen nothin’ yet, my darling.”

“She’s taken him from me,” the Mayor’s hands balled up into fists as she tried to restrain herself from whipping her arms through Emma’s form. “How dare you, Emma Swan!”

“How dare you, Emma Swan,” her voice seemed to echo from behind her but with a much more mocking tone.  
Turning swiftly, the pajama clad Mayor witnessed a stylishly dressed Regina enter the cabin with a bag of groceries in her arms.

“What?” the onlooking Regina asked as her brow furrowed in confusion as to why she would ever allow this type of scene to commence while keeping such a cavalier attitude.

“You promised you two wouldn’t start without me,” her future self raised a brow in mock frustration.

“It’s not her fault you forgot the popcorn, mom,” Henry fired back with a smile.

“Just look at how he talks to you,” Cora whispered to the Regina that looked on at the scene with bewilderment. “You’ve let him get away with murder, Regina.”

“Actually, I didn’t forget the popcorn,” the happier, brighter Regina answered, giving Henry’s hair a ruffle. “It’s just that I put it in our cupboard at home where we would be right now if the plumbing hadn’t decided to go on the fritz. We’re lucky Rumplestiltskin was nice enough to loan us the keys to his cabin. Granny’s Inn has been filled with fairy tale characters since we made it back from Neverland. But don’t worry, we now have popcorn for the tree.”

She placed a quick kiss on his forehead and spared a wink for Emma who immediately stood to take the bag from her hands.

“Here, I’ll help you make it,” the blonde offered. “I’ve already got water for your tea brewing on the stove. Should be ready soon.”

“My hero,” Regina joked as Emma took her hand and dragged them both to the kitchen. “We’ll be right back, Henry.”

The pajama clad Regina was absolutely baffled by what she was seeing. She could barely move given the stunned state of her body.

“Close your mouth, dear. You’ll draw flies,” Cora warned as pushed her daughter toward the kitchen.

Doing as she was told, Regina started to walk toward the pair that had left them and noticed that Cora was not following.

“Aren’t you coming too?” she asked.

“Oh no,” the older woman shook her head in disgust. “No, I’ll just stay in here with Henry and watch this ‘family show’ while you warp your mind with what’s about to happen in there.

“Oh god,” Regina exhaled worriedly as her head turned in the direction of the kitchen, feet carrying her toward a sight that she wasn’t sure she wished to see.

True to her word, Emma did have water boiling in the kettle on the stove but it was nowhere near as smoldering as the kiss she was sharing with Regina. It obviously was not the first time they’d done that together and, given how much they both seemed to be enjoying it, it didn’t seem as if it would be the last. It was Emma who first spoke when they finally broke apart.

“You’re gonna have to stop kissing me like that if you want me to make it through the singing reindeer movie without kissing you more in front of Henry,” she warned breathlessly.

“Actually,” Regina argued, moving them back until she was pressing Emma’s body against the counter. “I think you simply need to employ some self control, Ms. Swan. You’re going to need it later tonight. These walls are much thinner than the ones at home. And I plan on getting a ‘taste’ of my present early.”

She kissed the blonde back with even more fervor than before as the clone behind her watched. Regina simply couldn’t believe her eyes. Not only was she spending Christmas with Emma Swan, she was… doing things with her that were honestly making her own body react in very confusing ways. The onlooking Regina found herself enjoying the sight before her. And that disturbed her to no end. Only when the kettle whistled and the microwave pinged did they stop and try to catch their breath before retreating to opposite corners to tend to the tea and snacks.

“You know, we don’t have to string popcorn on the tree,” Emma noted. “We’ve already got it on the one at home. This is just a stand in for the real thing.”

“I know,” her mate smiled and stirred honey into her drink. “But I like to string popcorn with the two of you. Honestly, it’s my favorite part of Christmas now.”

Emma took in a deep breath as she felt her heart warm for the woman before her. Placing the bowl of popcorn on the table, she moved closer to the mayor’s back and wrapped her arms around the woman’s slim waist.

“Have I told you lately how happy I’ve been since that Christmas?” she asked, nuzzling Regina’s neck. “How amazing it’s felt, learning to love you?”

“I didn’t know it was possible for me to feel this happy,” Regina replied. “And I still don’t feel like I deserve it.”

Cora’s voice angrily interrupted the scene.

“Do you see what she’s going to do to you?” the queen of hearts asked. “Do you see how incredibly weak you will become if you stray from your current path? You’ll turn into a spineless slave to Emma Swan, daughter of Snow White.”

Regina knew how all of this must have looked to someone with a heart as dark as Cora’s but, to the lonely mayor who’d spent so much time pushing nearly everyone away, it really didn’t look so bad. She watched as Emma comforted her future self and promised her that they would work together to make things right as much as they could. This Regina had a partner. She had someone to lean on and lend her strength in hard times. And it didn’t look weak to her at all.

But she couldn’t let Cora know that.

“Yes, I think I’ve seen enough of this disgusting mess,” she lied and turned up her nose. “Let’s move on.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Cora breathed out a sigh of relief as she turned to create another portal. “At least those other spirits didn’t cause you to lose all of your good sense.”

Regina allowed her eyes to linger upon the figures before her for just a few seconds more before following her mother through to the next scene. A longing hung heavy in her heart and she wondered if it could really be true. If she could ever feel that way about the girl she’d condemned to such a horrible fate. And, even more unbelievable, if that same girl could possibly love her back.

She shook off the hope and allowed her eyes to adjust to the daylight. She and Cora were in front of a home she didn’t recognize. A large bird feeder stood tall in the front yard and the mailbox heralded the name Nolan. She wondered if perhaps David and Katherine had worked things out after all. But, as soon as they slipped through the door, the most annoying voice in the world rang through the house, and Regina doubted very much that her heart would be warmed by this scene.

“Trust me, you are not too charming to clean a turkey,” Snow teased a disgusted Charming as he pulled the turkey neck out of its body. 

The short haired brunette was obviously pregnant and rings adorned both of their fingers. Snow White had gotten her happy ending after all. And Regina was livid over it. Her lip curled in anger and she nearly growled as she watched the two idiots tease and kiss each other while they prepared the stupid bird.

“What a happy couple,” Cora prodded her even further. “Just look at all the joy you’ve helped bring to the woman who ruined your real happy ending.”

“Merry Christmas! Anyone home?”

 

The door behind them burst open as Emma’s voice called out through the house. Henry ran in with a puppy following behind him. His smile was as big as Regina had ever seen it.

“Grandma, Grandpa, look what I got! His name is Mongoose!” he screamed until he made it into the kitchen and Mongoose started to lick the floor of all of the food that had dripped on to it.

Regina and Emma made their way in slowly, worry evident on the Mayor’s face though Emma practically beamed.

“Why are you so nervous?” she asked the mayor as she guided her in by the hand. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“How do you possibly know that?” Regina asked. “Snow’s eyes nearly popped out of her skull when you told her we were dating. How do you think she’s going to handle the idea of us getting married? I still don’t understand why we have to tell her.”

“Because, Regina, I want my mother at my wedding,” Emma replied. “Plus, I told you, it was just a lot to deal with at first because of everyone’s past. She’s over that now. You know she loves you and wants you to be happy.”

The other Regina could not believe her ears. Snow White wanted her to be happy? How was that even possible?

“I know she does, Emma but she wants you to be happy more and… well, what if I can’t make you happy? She’d have every right to doubt me.”

“What if you can’t make me happy?” green eyes looked back at Regina incredulously. “Sometimes I wonder if you’ve gone blind.”

“Emma, Regina!” Snow did the pregnant lady waddle over to the two women with a bright smile on her face. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, mom,” Emma leaned in and hugged her mother before moving away for Regina to do the same.

“That turkey isn’t the only thing that will need to come out of the oven soon,” Regina joked as she pulled back. “How are you feeling, Snow?”

“Pregnant,” she smiled as she answered. “Very, very pregnant and hungry.”

They all laughed but Snow suddenly stopped as she watched Regina reach up to place an errant lock of hair behind her ear. A sparkle from her left hand caught the former teacher’s eye and her mouth dropped open.  
“Oh my god, did you…” she looked to Emma who simply smiled back and nodded. “You’re engaged?”

“Yeah, that’s kind of what the ring is for,” the blonde deadpanned, waiting for Snow to react a little more positively.

“Well, congratulations!” she put on the bravest smile she had and wrapped her arms around them both before pulling away. “I hope you’re really happy together.”

Both of the Reginas in the room could tell that, though her well wishes were genuine, there was still an unsettled air about the woman. The newly engaged Regina smiled softly at Emma and placed a hand at her bicep.

“Emma, your father sounds like he’s losing a battle with that bird. Why don’t you go help him for a moment and I’ll help Snow get settled in the living room.”

Emma wasn’t stupid, she knew that Regina wanted time alone with Snow to try and, once again, atone for all the evil she’d done in the past. Her eyes held a sad yet proud admiration for the woman that would soon be her wife. And, though she wished she didn’t have to do this alone, she respected Regina’s request.

“Sure,” she acquiesced, leaning in to kiss her love on the cheek. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

Two sets of dark eyes looked on at Emma in awe of how well they were suited. The mayor standing in her pajamas even lingered on the blonde figure a bit before moving into the living room with the others.

How the hell did you get like this?

Regina mused to herself about Emma’s patience and goodness but it was the blonde’s voice that echoed in her mind from long before when the Sheriff wondered about Regina’s capacity for evil. They were two prime examples of women from horrible childhoods. They’d both been betrayed, they’d both loved and lost, they’d even both been hurt by Snow to a certain extent. How did Emma grow up to be a hero while Regina grew into a villain? And, more importantly, how would that hero ever learn to love someone with a heart as black as the Mayor’s?

“Regina?” Cora called to her, and she stepped into the living room to view the scene between her future self and her arch nemesis.

“Snow, I know this is hard but…” the Mayor started as she took her seat next to Snow on the couch.

“No, Regina, no,” Snow shook her head and placed her hand over Regina’s. “It’s not hard it’s just… complicated. Emma knows everything about our past but she didn’t live it. She doesn’t understand all of the pain we caused each other. And, I know that you’ve changed, I really do and I’m so happy about how things are now. But what if something happens? What if, god forbid, all of the sad and terrible things that couples sometimes do to each other happen to you and Emma? You fight your darkside every day. I know you do. What happens if Emma does something that angers you so much you can’t hold it back?”

Sadness overtook Regina’s features as she held onto Snow’s hand. The sad part was she had every right to ask that question.Regina’s darkness would never truly go away.. It would always be there, just beneath the surface.

“I know that our past is dark and filled with violence and betrayal,” she confirmed. “But our future isn’t, Snow. Emma makes me a better person, especially when she’s with Henry. Their light together is so bright that it leaves my darkness frail and humbled. It doesn’t even have the chance to come out when I’m with them. You have every right to be afraid but, I give you my word here and now, that I would rather die than hurt either of them. They are my happy ending. And my darkness is powerless against that. Will you please give me this chance? Will you please trust me with her?”

Cora stepped closer to whisper into her daughter’s ear.

“How are you not vomiting at your own weakness?” she asked. “Look at what love has done to you? This version of your future has you begging Snow White, of all people, to give you a chance. To trust in you. After all the sacrifices you’ve made to rid her from this earth, now you beg for her approval and all because of love. Please tell me you are as enraged at this scene as I am.”

Regina needed to react quickly and she needed to react in the right way. Especially because, as much as she hated Snow, she knew that this future Regina had something much more powerful than a throne. She had power over herself. Power over her darkness. And, most of all, she did have her happy ending. It was warm and, though complicated, it lit within her a flame of need that she didn’t believe she could extinguish.

But now wasn’t the time to think about that. Now, she needed to get rid of Cora.

“I’m not enraged, mother,” she said with a smirk, crossing her arms. “I’m somewhat amused but there’s simply no need to get all up in arms about something that’s never going to happen. This is laughable. An absolute joke. I still hate Snow White, I’m not in love with Emma Swan and my drive for power over them both will ensure this never happens. Frankly I didn’t need you to tell me that.”

Cora allowed a smile to form on her face but she was still quite skeptical of Regina’s stalwart dedication to steering clear of this future. Still, she had one more trick up her sleeve.  
“Excellent,” she offered. “Then I guess we can move on.”

“Wonderful,” Regina answered. “I’m bored with this nonsense anyway.”

Her eyes kept watch upon the happiness she saw on her own face until the very last. She’d used her power to destroy so much that she hadn’t ever truly thought about using it to create. And her new goal was to create that life for herself. She simply had to make it through this final test.

As Cora waved her hand once more they found themselves back in the mayoral mansion. Emma and Henry were in the living room next to a beautifully decorated tree despite the pedestrian nature of the popcorn that would likely always hang from it. Henry was older. His face had become sharper and more serious. Plus, she also noted some stubble so he was obviously in his teens. There was also something on his mind that was weighing on him and it looked as if Emma knew about it. The two seemed to be waiting on something. And, as the door to the home opened and Regina called out that she was there, the wait looked to be over.

“Hey, what are you two up to?” she asked with a smile as she put down her bag and kissed them both on the cheek before noting that they seemed like they were most definitely up to something.

“Well, Henry has something he’d like to talk to you about,” Emma said, standing with a proud smile on her face. “But he’s kind of worried that you might not be happy about it.”

“Oh dear god, you didn’t get some girl pregnant did you?” she blabbed out the question without thinking of how it might sound.

“Regina!” Emma admonished her, wide eyed.

“What?” She asked, somewhat defensive. “It wouldn’t be the first this it happened to someone in this family.”

She knew she’d crossed a line with that one and, if she hadn’t, Emma’s current glare certainly communicated that she had.

Rolling her eyes, the mayor breathed in deeply and placed her hand on her hip before speaking,”I’ll apologize to you regarding that later.”

“For at least an hour,” Emma added, earning a resounding ‘Ew’ from Henry.

“Alright,” a softer tone left her lips as Regina looked down at the boy, that was becoming a man, before her. “What did you want to talk about, Henry.”

“Well,” he stood awkwardly and started explaining himself. “I know that I made a big deal about wanting the new Xbox for Christmas and I can totally tell that’s what you’ve got wrapped under the tree because I picked up the box. It also didn’t help keeping it a secret that you individually wrapped the five games I asked for.”

“Told ya,” Emma interjected.

“Quiet,” Regina warned. “Go on, Henry.”

“Well, the thing is, today we took a trip to the orphanage that the Blue Fairy runs and, I mean, I know that you hate fairies, mom. Blue in particular. But I felt bad for the kids there and I really think they would get a lot more out of my present than I would.”

Cora seethed and Regina could almost feel her fiery fury through her pajamas. She needed to hold it together. If she showed any emotion over the scene, she knew that her mother would be able to witness the crack in her armor.

“Are you saying you want to give your presents to the children at the orphanage?” the other Regina asked, absolute disbelief present in her voice as his request reflected her own so many years ago.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I mean, mom grew up in an orphanage and, even though you guys try not to talk about it, I know they’re not the best place to live. Plus, I’m already really happy. I have been since you two started getting along… And especially since you got me Mongoose.”

He gave the now fully grown dog a quick pat behind the ears.

Emma placed a hand at the small of Regina’s back. The blonde obviously knew that this meant more to the Mayor than a mere moment of pride in her son being so selfless. And she wanted her to know that she wasn’t alone in it.

“What do you say, Regina?” she asked. “You ready to watch a few hundred bucks walk out the door to Blue’s orphans?”

Regina shook her head and laughed as tears started to form in her eyes. She moved forward to take Henry’s cheeks into her hands before leaning in to kiss his forehead.

“You have grown up to be such a wonderful person with a beautiful heart, Henry,” she said to him.

“Just like his mom,” Emma added.

Both Regina’s looked over… and both couldn’t help the tears that fell. Regina wasn’t going to find a happy ending at the end of her night with the spirits. She was going to find a happy beginning. If she survived.

As she watched her future self agree, and the scene faded as the happy family packed up the gifts, her mother’s presence became all the more intrusive within the walls of her darkened bedroom.

“I should have known,” she said as she reached out and wiped the evidence of Regina’s tear from her face. “It’s the boy, isn’t it? Henry. The one who’s as weak and short sighted as you were. If you didn’t have him, you’d be free to do whatever you wanted.”

“What I want is that future,” Regina replied, there was no reason to pretend anymore. “And I will not let you take any part of it away from me.”

“Oh really?” Cora reared back and raised a brow. “And what are you going to do to ensure that?”

“I’m going to fight for it,” she lunged forward and wrapped her hand around her mother’s neck, slamming her against the wall near the window. “Because love is not weakness.”

Cora was amazed at the idiocy Regina was displaying. Surely she couldn’t possibly hope to win a fight when she had no magic. With the greatest of ease she sent her daughter flying off of her and then wrapped a magical hand around her throat, just as she’d done when they first met that night. Only this time, she raised the stakes. With something that sounded akin to a growl she flew them both out of the window and high into the sky.

“You stupid, pathetic girl!” she raved. “You could have had it all yet you would throw it all away for the same family you loathed all those years ago. The same family who took away happiness, your innocence, your dignity!”

“No, mother,” Regina choked as she heard the first bell of the hour toll. “You took those from me long before Snow did.”

“And I should have simply taken your life,” she countered. “It would have saved us both a great deal of time and effort but I can fix that mistake now. Perhaps I chose the wrong daughter to groom. It’s time to get back to work.”

Confusion flooded her as she started to feel herself in grave need of air. What was Cora talking about? What other daughter?

“That’s going to be quite a drop once I disappear, Regina,” the older woman hissed. “Is it all truly worth it? Losing your life for a boy who doesn’t even love you back?”

Tears fell from dark eyes as Regina felt her consciousness start to slip as the last few bells tolled.

“Yes.”

The answer was short and sweet. It said everything. Regina Mills had learned to love unconditionally. She’d proven it right there and then. No matter how dark her heart was, she was willing to trade her life for that of her child. Every single one of her enemies would get what they wanted. She would be dead. Emma would have Henry. Snow would eventually have Charming. She’d traded everything she worked for, all the sacrifices she made, for love.

And that love would live on. Strong and true. Just like the evergreens.

The tiniest of smiles grew on her face as that last thought crossed her mind. There was no fight left in her anymore. And, once Cora saw it, she let go with a sigh, watching her daughter fall to the ground as the last bell tolled and her own body disappeared into nothingness.


	5. Part 5: Big Things Have Small Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter in the series. I sincerely hope you've enjoyed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This is the last chapter of this story. I really feel like I just needed to get it out. I do have quite a few ideas about how to move forward with a second installment but I'm not sure that many people are reading it. Which is definitely my fault for needing to write a Christmas story in the dead of Summer. XD Anyway, to those of you who have read, thank you for humoring me.

With a yell of ferocity Regina fell to the floor beside her bed. The thud surely caused a few bruises but it was nothing like the horror she expected to experience by going splat on the Storybrooke pavement.

 

She was alive.

 

Cora hadn’t won.

 

And that meant there was still time to make things right.

 

“I’m still here,” she whispered to the carpet beneath her breath then pushed herself up with a victorious smile. “I’m still here!”

 

The words rang out, loud and clear as she opened her window and looked onto the snowy sight below. So many thoughts blazed through her mind as she started to plan and plot exactly how she would try to right the wrongs that she could. She would never be able to completely fix everything but she could absolutely bring back some of the happy endings.

 

“Mom? Are you ok?” Henry’s voice called from the other side of the door as he knocked emphatically and Regina rushed to open it.

 

She took him into her arms immediately, remembering how happy he’d been in all the visions of the future. Not to mention how happy he’d made her. He was where she would start.

 

“God, Henry,” she swallowed the lump in her throat as she held him tight. “I’ve been so wrong about so many things. I’m sorry you had to spend Christmas in the Sheriff’s station just to see Emma.”

 

“Uh-oh,” he remarked, wide eyed and fearful of what her next move would be to keep him from his birth mother.

 

“No,” Regina pulled away and shook her head. “No ‘uh-oh’. I’m going to make sure you never have to sneak around to see her again. I’m going to let you see her whenever you want. I just… I hope you’ll understand that I want to see you sometimes too.”

 

Henry’s brow furrowed in utter confusion. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was he in a dream? Had Regina gone insane? Had he gone insane?

 

“Just to be clear,” he started, speaking with his hands. “You’re saying that I can see Emma any time I want.”  
“Yes, Henry,” she nodded, taking in how horrible she must have seemed to him given the shock on his face. “Any time you want.”

 

“So, I could go see here right now if I wanted to and you wouldn’t stop me?” he got specific just so he could be sure he understood her fully.

 

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “If you’d like to see her now, I’ll drive you over myself.”

 

His smaller features still contorted in confusion as he studied her. Henry simply couldn’t understand how Regina had gone from basically wanting Emma dead to now allowing him complete access to her whenever he wanted.

 

“What’s going on?” he simply decided to ask. “Something happened last night, didn’t it?”

 

She took a moment to figure out how to tell him that something did happen and reassure him that she had truly changed. She didn’t want to lie to Henry but she was also afraid to tell him too much of what happened and what she saw. 

 

“Yes,” she nodded. “Something did happen. I had a very vivid dream and in it I saw how my actions have impacted the lives of others in such a sad a terrible way. I’m going to be better, Henry. I’m going to change.”

 

He was still incredibly skeptical but he also felt a sense of whimsy overtake him. This whole situation certainly sounded like another ‘fairy tale’ he was quite familiar with. What if somehow A Christmas Carol had come to Storybrooke and changed his mother forever? He wouldn’t push the issue. Not then, at least. But he did plan on doing some investigating later to try to determine what the catalyst of this change truly was.

 

“Alright,” he nodded. “Then I want to go see Emma now.”

 

She chuckled and nodded. She’d expected him to test her resolve right away and he didn’t disappoint her prediction. It was fine, she actually needed someone to watch over him for a bit while she ran a few quick errands to take the first steps on her very long road to redemption.

 

“Fine,” she confirmed. “Go clean up and meet me downstairs. I’ll just be a few minutes.”

 

He took off like a bullet from a gun. She could hear his shower running and had no doubt that he would be ready long before her. She might have lied about that whole ‘just a few minutes’ part. It actually took her longer that morning to prepare for the day than it usually did. She wanted her hair to be perfect, then she wanted it to seem weathered. She painted on her makeup to be dramatic, only to decide that she wished to seem softer.

 

She knew exactly why she was taking so long too. Regina Mills was completely done deluding herself. She wanted to look nice for Emma Swan. She wanted the Sheriff to look at her and see beauty beyond the beast that she’d been so diligent in presenting before.

 

“Mom! Come on already! What are you doing in there?”

 

Henry called to her from the bottom of the steps and with one quick spray of perfume, she finally decided that her appearance was what she wanted it to be. Her legs carried her down the steps to the foyer and she put on her coat.

 

“It’s Christmas,” she explained. “I wanted to look nice.”

 

“You always look nice,” he responded as she opened the door for him. “It’s acting nice that you have to try for.”

 

She nearly reprimanded him for speaking to her in such a way but, when she thought about the fact that he had a point, she shut her mouth and made her way with him to the car. Once they were both buckled in, she backed out of the driveway and drove toward the Sheriff’s station.

 

“Now, I’m going to play a little joke on Emma when we get there,” she said with a grin. What Christmas Carol was complete without Ebenezer Scrooge terrifying Bob Cratchit one last time? “Just go along with it and I promise I’ll be nice after.”

 

Once more, Henry looked at his mother as if she’d grown a second head.

 

A joke? Regina didn’t joke. Ever. She was always so serious and, well, not fun. Whatever did happen to her last night, it must have been powerful.

 

“Ok,” he finally agreed with a bewildered shake of his head.

 

As they pulled up to the station, Regina allowed the Evil Queen persona to wash over her features. She walked purposefully, with Henry in tow, inside the station and right up to the desk where Emma Swan was nearly drooling with slumber. She hadn’t moved a muscle at their arrival.

 

“Wake up, Sheriff!” Regina yelled, slamming her hands on the desk and causing a dazed Emma to jolt in her chair and look around in confusion.

 

“Regina!” she husked groggily. “I’m so sorry. I must have dozed off at some point, but I promise I would have woken up if someone radioed in or the phone rang.”

 

“Really?” Regina pulled back and crossed her arms. “You didn’t even wake up when your station was invaded by two people. I doubt very seriously you would have come to for a phone call and I also doubt you are earning your paycheck by sleeping on the job.”  
“Well, excuse me, Madam Mayor but you do have me pulling a 48 hour shift,” Emma stated, grumpy from just waking up and angry at Regina’s claim that she wasn’t properly doing her job.

 

“You’re the one who wanted to be Sheriff,” Regina fired back.

 

Henry’s head was going back and forth at this point, wondering how long Regina would continue to throw barbs before she gave up the goose.

 

“And since I’ve been Sheriff there haven’t been any major incidents in town,” the blonde argued. “With the exception of the fire in your office that I pulled you from to save your life.”

 

“Oh really, how long are you going to throw that in my face?” the Mayor scoffed. “That one act of heroism isn’t going to make up for every single infraction you commit, Ms. Swan. Especially the one that commenced last night when you allowed my son to spend Christmas Eve in a police station at two in the morning!”

 

Green eyes widened in fear and shock as she looked to Henry, wondering how they were caught. The boy simply raised his hands and shook his head to assure her that he had no idea how Regina had found out.

 

“Well, he wouldn’t have had to sneak out in the middle of the night to see me here if you’d drop this helicopter parent crap and let me see him in the day time,” Emma nearly growled back, tired of dealing with Regina’s need to use Henry against her.

 

“And that is exactly why I’ve decided that you may now see him any time you wish!” Regina’s words were, no doubt, exactly what Emma wanted to hear but her tone was that of the ‘I shall destroy your happiness if it’s the last thing I do’ variety.

 

“And I don’t care what you say I’m going to…” the Sheriff’s harsh tone trailed off as she realized, mid-sentence, what Regina had just said. “... to see Henry whenever I wish?”

 

Green eyes gazed incredulously into brown as Regina’s words dawned on her and, for the first time in her entire dealings with the woman before her, Regina smiled humbly and softly before she spoke.

 

“Yes, Ms. Swan,” the dark head nodded. “I’ve been…” 

 

She trailed off, trying to find the right words. There were simply so many things she wanted to say to Emma but she couldn’t possibly just blab them out all in one fell swoop. She needed time to show the Sheriff that each and every one of her sentiments were genuine and came from the heart. She would need to get to know Emma. To prove herself to her before she could ever apologize for all the evils she’d visited upon the woman.

 

“I’ve been wrong to keep him from you,” she finally settled on. “And I will no longer do so. I hope you can forgive me for all of the pain I’ve caused you by trying to keep him to myself. I just… I love him too. And I’m afraid to lose him.”

 

She hadn’t been that vulnerable with anyone since she’d first met Tinkerbell. It was terrifying and she felt as if she wanted to claw her way out of her own skin but she had to do this. She was lucky that her naked and raw emotion was bared before the gentle gaze of Emma Swan. For, even after all the pain Regina had caused her, the lost girl could still be kind.

 

Emma could not believe what she was hearing. If it were any other person standing in front of her she would have scoffed and tossed out a ‘yeah right’. But she didn’t dare do that with Regina Mills in that moment. Regina had just opened up to her. She’d apologized to her. And, very much like a deer, any wrong move in this situation could spook the Mayor and send her right back into her angry and unpleasant self. The Sheriff knew she had to be careful with her words and she chose them with great caution.

 

“I would never try to take him from you, Regina,” she assured softly. “He’s your son. He loves you. You aren’t going to lose him. Especially because of me.”

 

She moved out from behind the desk and closer to the two, making her stance as nonthreatening as possible.

 

“This is the best Christmas present I could possibly ask for,” Emma said genuinely. “I only wish I had something to give you.”

 

“You already did,” Regina corrected her. “You gave him life. And a better chance than you could afford him when he was born.”

 

They stared at each other for a whole minute. Emma trying to figure out what on earth had happened to Regina to have given her such perspective. And Regina drinking in the feeling of someone seeing the best in her.

 

Henry had no idea what was going on, much like he’d felt the rest of the morning.

 

“Anyway,” Regina was the one to first pull away from the moment. “I have a few things that I need to take care of today. Do you think you could watch Henry for a for the day while I attend to them. Perhaps you could take him with you to Granny’s for Christmas dinner?”

 

Placing one hand in her back pocket and the other around Henry’s shoulders, Emma nodded.

 

“Of course, have you had breakfast yet, kid?” she asked, finally looking down to Henry.

 

“No, not yet,” he explained. “I wanted to make sure she was for real about me seeing you whenever I wanted.”

 

Emma chuckled and gently clapped his back before speaking, “Alright. How about we go to my place real quick and I’ll make you some pancakes?”

 

“With blueberries,” he insisted.

 

“With blueberries,” she confirmed and then looked back to Regina. “We’ll be waiting for you whenever you’re ready.”

 

“Thank you, Ms. Swan,” Regina said with a nod before kissing Henry’s head and making her way out of the station and into her car.

 

As she drove away, Emma and Henry both looked on with puzzled gazes.

 

“What the hell happened to her last night?” she asked the boy.

 

“Honestly, my money’s on Muppets,” he joked… kind of.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The Mercedes stopped on a gravel driveway near the edge of town. Before it sat an old, dilapidated house, exactly like the one Regina had visited last night with Tinkerbell. She walked up to the door and didn’t bother knocking. She worried the children might run away given the chance and she wanted to try to corral them as much as she could. Soft steps took her toward the living room where they both still slept, curled up near a dying fire. With a quick clearing of her throat, they both jolted awake and stood, worried about what was to come from their visitor.

 

“Madam Mayor?” Ava asked. “What are you doing here?”

 

Regina made sure to keep her tone soft and gentle. She didn’t want to scare either of them.

 

“It’s come to my attention that you two have been living here for a while now,” she explained. “I believe it’s because you don’t have any parents and you’re afraid to go to the orphanage. I’ve come to tell you that that’s not going to happen. I believe I know who your father is and, given some time, I think I can give you a home again.”

 

“Really?” Nicholas asked with enthusiasm, though Ava wasn’t completely sold yet.

 

“And what’s going to happen to us in the meantime?” she asked. “Are you going to let us stay here or are you going to tell the Sheriff about us?”

 

“Neither,” Regina answered. “I’m going to relocate you to Granny’s just until we get things worked out. I’ll be paying for your room and board as well as any food you might like. Children shouldn’t have to live in conditions like this.”

 

She looked around at the tattered floorboards and peeling wallpaper. Ava still did not know how to simply accept the mayor at face value. She’d never been known for her charity and kindness.

 

“Why would you do this for us?” she asked.

 

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” Regina stated firmly. “And though I have made grave mistakes in the past, I want to try to change that now. You can say no if you like. I wouldn’t blame you if you did. But I assure you there are no tricks up my sleeve on this. I’m doing this because I want to help you.”

 

With a bit of reluctance, Ava finally looked to Nicholas and nodded.

 

“Get your bag,” she instructed. “We’re going to give the Mayor a chance.”

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Granny wasn’t exactly happy to open up on Christmas Eve but, as soon as she’d seen the reason her attitude changed. Regina paid not only for Ava and Nicholas to live and eat there, she also decided that she could afford to be even more charitable. The Mayor wrote Granny a check for the food she would be serving to the community that night while the two children settled into their room.

 

“Henry’s always wanted to come to your Christmas dinner,” she explained to Granny. “I believe Ms. Swan and Ms. Blanchard will be attending as well. Would you mind terribly if he joined them?”

 

“Why no, of course not, Madam Mayor,” Granny beamed. “You’re welcome to join too if you like. It’s not exactly the healthiest meal of the year but it’s tasty and warms you up inside.”

 

“No, no,” Regina smiled but shook her head as she answered. “I have a bit of research to attend to tonight. I don’t think I’d be much fun at the dinner table.”

 

The offer was difficult to turn down. Regina found herself longing for the warmth of a family dinner with her son but the idea of poor Tinkerbell spending anymore sad and lonely nights in Neverland superseded her own wants and desires. She had to at least start looking into a way to find the forgotten fairy.

 

“Well, then I’ll send Henry home with a plate for you,” Granny amended. “It does no good to work on an empty stomach. At least that’s what I always say.”

 

“Thank you, Ms. Lucas,” Regina accepted the kindness with a nod and took her exit before the over stimulation of kindness caused her heart to grow like the Grinch’s. She wasn’t used to this. Granted, she had brought all of the negative attention of days old on herself but she had no idea how far just a little bit of generosity could go.

 

Purposeful steps carried her to her car once more and she stopped by her home to grab a bow and a special container of cider. She prayed she didn’t have to break abruptly on her way to the Nolan residence because she didn’t want the expensive interior of her car to smell like alcohol, no matter how tasty it was. Luckily there was no one out and about on the roads due to the holiday and she was able to pull into Kathryn and David’s driveway with ease.

 

Stepping out of the car, she walked casually up to the door and rang the bell. One of her hands held the cider and the other adjusted her already perfect hair. Kathryn was the one to answer the door and Regina offered her friend a smile as she held out her gift.

 

“Merry Christmas!” she said as Kathryn took the bottle.

 

“Merry Christmas, indeed,” the blonde replied. “Thank you Regina. Won’t you come in and join us for a glass?”

 

“I’d love to but I actually have to run,” she explained. “I really just wanted to wish you a happy holiday… and ask for a possible favor after the New Year.”

 

“Of course,” Kathryn gave off a welcoming smile. “What can I help you with?”

 

“Well, I’m having my car serviced the Wednesday after school starts back and I don’t want Henry to walk home in the cold, or ride in Ms. Swan’s death trap of a vehicle. Would you mind terribly picking him up after gym class?”

 

She wasn’t exactly handing Kathryn’s true love to her on a silver platter but it was a good start. Perhaps if she saw Jim there would be some kind of spark that would grow into the flames of true love.

 

“Absolutely,” Kathryn agreed. “It’ll be nice to catch up with Henry on the ride home. You can count me in.”

 

“Thank you, Kathryn. You’re a wonderful friend,” Regina replied with a smile. “Now, go back to enjoying your Christmas. And don’t drink too much of that at one time. Strange things can happen.”

 

She turned back toward the car and mumbled under her breath as she walked, “Trust me.”

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Spending any extended amount of time in a crypt was not only uncomfortable, it was downright creepy. Regina had class. She didn’t linger in graveyards. So, she went down to her secret hideaway with a tote bag to gather up all of the books she thought she might need to point her in the direction of how to start the search for Tinkerbell. Once satisfied she had the resources she needed the former evil queen exited the crypt and drove back home where she immediately started a full pot of coffee before setting her books on her desk in the study.

 

Finding a way into a magical world without magic would not be easy. And, she feared the only way to find Tink would be to break the curse she’d worked so hard to set into motion. What would that mean for her? For Henry?

 

If everyone gained their memories back would they come looking for her with torches and pitchforks? Would Emma let them?

 

She’d certainly have every right to once she realized that all of the pain of her past might have been avoided if Regina could have simply let go of her hatred. Would the savior allow her to go unsaved if the time came?

 

She certainly hoped not but it wasn’t as if hoping had always worked for her in the past.

 

With a sigh she shook her head and went back to the kitchen to gather up her cup of coffee before sitting down to start her search. She took out a notebook to keep her thoughts organized and tried to make sense out of some of the ancient riddles she found.

 

Several cups of coffee later the sun had begun to set. She’d been working for hours and hadn’t gotten very far. A knock at the door pulled her from her research and she stood to see who was calling on her. Surely dinner hadn’t ended already at Granny’s. Yet there stood Emma Swan on her doorstep, a beanie on her head and that horrible red jacket clinging perfectly to her body.

 

“Yes, Ms. Swan?” Regina looked around. “Where’s Henry?”

 

“At Granny’s asking where you are,” Emma answered. “Granny said that you wouldn’t be able to make it because you had some things to do. What could you possibly have to do on Christmas that you can’t stop for a meal?”

 

“I…” she tried to think about how to explain herself and then decided she didn’t have to. “That’s none of your business, Sheriff.”

 

“Well, whatever it is, it can wait for you to eat,” the blonde moved into the house, uninvited, and grabbed Regina’s coat before holding it out for her to put it on. “I’m not letting you spend all of Christmas alone.”

 

“That is not your decision to make!” Regina fired back, incredulously.

“It is when I’m the one who’s got the handcuffs,” Emma said with a smirk, leaning in a little for emphasis. “You don’t really want me to use them on you, do you?”

 

There were many thoughts Regina Mills wasn’t prepared for in her life. The idea of Emma using handcuffs on her, and not only to take her to Granny’s, was one of them. A blush that she could not dismiss crept up her neck and onto her face until she gathered her senses and pushed back.

 

“Trust me, dear, if handcuffs ever entered into our dealings with each other, it wouldn’t be you using them,” she said, the blush on Emma’s cheek enough of a submission for Regina to sigh and reluctantly shrug on the coat.

 

“Don’t be too sure about that,” Emma whispered into her ear before pulling away. “Now come on. Everyone’s waiting on us.”

 

“They are?” Regina asked with a raised brow as she opened the door to Emma’s car and sat down.

 

“Yeah,” Emma answered with a chuckle as if she couldn’t believe it either. “Granny, Henry, Kathryn and David. Who are very drunk, by the way. Plus some of Henry’s little school friends. They said they’d wait while I came to get you. I don’t know how you had the time to basically make everyone happy today but it certainly shows.”

 

The blonde started the car and pulled out of the Regina’s driveway, headed toward Granny’s. They sat in silence for a few brief seconds but Emma knew there wasn’t much time before they would be around the other and she wanted to address something with the Mayor.

 

“Regina, look, I know it’s stupid to look a gift horse in the mouth but I just wanted to ask why you decided it was ok for me to see Henry now. Did I do something, or not do something to change your mind? Because if I did, and you tell me, maybe things can be easier between us,” green eyes flickered over to the passenger seat. “I certainly know I’d like that.”

 

Regina felt her heart flutter for a moment at the last statement. It was sweet yet timid; a perfect reflection of how Emma could be with her when she really tried to make things work.

 

“No, Ms. Swan, it wasn’t anything you did or didn’t do,” she explained. “It’s me. I’ve lived my life very closed off from other people. I’ve done things that I now regret after having seen the consequences of my actions. You are a part of that. I wanted to try to reconcile. It’s as simple as that.”

 

Emma studied Regina as she spoke. The Sheriff’s super power was telling her that, though Regina wasn’t necessarily lying, she wasn’t telling the full truth either. She wished that Regina trusted her enough to confide in her but she also knew that, when pushed, the Mayor never revealed anything. So, she simply nodded and put the car into park.

 

“Well, for what it’s worth, allowing me to see Henry means the world to me,” she explained. “And I’ll always be grateful to you for what you’ve done for both of us.”

 

The blonde offered a kind smile before exiting the car and shutting the door. Regina’s face held a different emotion; regret. The nicer Emma was to her, the worse she felt for what she’d put her through.

 

“You wouldn’t be if you knew the truth,” the Mayor whispered to no one but the car before exiting as well and following Emma into the diner. 

 

It was truly a scene to behold. Regina Mills sitting, smiling and enjoying herself alongside some of her sworn enemies. Everyone laughed and told tales of the past year. They ate and drank to their heart’s content until, every now and then, a quick glance to the former queen would take over their thoughts and remind them that perhaps she wasn’t as bad as they used to think.

 

It wasn’t perfect. There was still so much work to be done on Regina’s part. But, at least now she had a plan and a goal. She wouldn’t let this experience leave her. She’d carry it in her heart through all the trials and hardships ahead. She would be a better mother, Mayor and friend to all those who knew her. And perhaps one day, she’d even find love in the heart of the Savior.


End file.
